Forever is a really long time
by Paulover23
Summary: I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. little did I know my world was about to come cashing down around me. longer summary inside. M rated for language and possible lemons. Don't read if you hate inappropriate language. PaulxBella pairing. Enjoy. Now adopted by allie23o
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

**Background information**

**Sam/Emily – 22**

**Paul – 19**

**Jared – 19**

**Kim – 18**

**Bella – 18**

**Jacob – 17**

**Embry – 17**

"…**." – speech**

'_**(Italics)' **_**– speech through pack mind**

_**(Italics)**_** – Thoughts**

Prologue

The grey sky did nothing to lift my mood about what I was about to do. Standing outside the hospital, I hugged my jacket to my shivering body. I was cold. Frozen, numb from all that had happened to me over the last few months. I took a deep breath and did what I was taught to do all those years ago. I put one foot in front of the other and entered the building. The overhead fan blew my hair into my eyes. I shook my head and concentrated on breathing evenly. There in the far corner of the clinical establishment sat a young women busy typing furiously on a computer. I cautiously approached her like I would approach a wild animal. She didn't look up but I started anyway.

"Hi." I initiated timidly. "I have an appointm-." I was rudely disrupted.

"Name?" she snapped.

"Isabella Swan." I replied.

"That's fine, have a seat. The nurse will come and get you shortly" she provided without looking at me.

I frowned and turned to find a seat in the waiting section, just behind me. I lowered myself onto the uncomfortable chair, directly under the baby poster and waited. I sat for a while staring at the speck of pink paint on the linoleum floor. Not thinking about anything in particular and definitely not feeling anything in particular. That was until the pink speck was covered by a, familiar, russet barefoot.

My heart stopped. _Who had told him? _Because it sure as hell wasn't me.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" his strained voice asked me. I snorted, _like you don't know already._

"What are _you_ doing here, Paul?" I countered. He slammed both of his hands down on the armrest either side of me. I jumped. He crouched down. The lady to my side made a disapproving tsk that earned her a growl from Paul.

"I asked first" he breathed. "Look at me," were the next words out of his mouth. I refused and turned my head to the side. "Isabella" he growled. "Look. At. Me," he hissed through clenched teeth. I shifted uncomfortably in the seat. _I don't want to look at you. I can't without seeing h-._

"Swan! I asked you something, I except you to answer" he bellowed.

I didn't feel obligated like I usually do, but nevertheless, I trailed my eyes from his white knuckled hand to his tense arm. Then to his stiff shoulder and settled on the pulse in his neck. Steady and strong. _ Just like we used to be. _I stole myself for a moment and took in a deep breath. My eyes travelled the remaining journey up his neck. Past his lips, over his nose and settled on his hard eyes. His breathing hitched and he released a shaky breath.

I knew what he saw in my eyes. I had been seeing the same thing for the past little while. He saw nothing. No love, no anger, no sadness. Just a lifeless shell.

I asked again, "what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to stop my imprint aborting our baby" he whispered.

_Imprint not girlfriend, _I heard what he didn't say.

I look straight into his hazel eyes, eyes that were once the bane of my existence and said, "Leave." His eyes glazed over as he fought the instinct to obey his imprints desire. His whole body now ramrod stiff.

"Isabella Swan" a dumpy, brunette nurse called my name. I placed my hand on his arm and his body went lax. I took my other hand and pushed his hand of the armrest and stepped away from his hunched form.

"Please, don't do this" he pleaded, but I ignore him. I walked to the nurse and gave her the faintest of smiles.

"Right this way" she said pointing to a narrow white corridor. I didn't turn around to see his state. Didn't need to, I wasn't interested. He was dead to me.

A short while later I was lying on a hospital bed, legs spread and wearing a god awful hospital gown. Looking around the room I could see various machines and instruments. The counter by the door had stacks of glove boxes piled, literally, to the ceiling. The sterile trolley and sonagraphy machine were parked by the bottom of the bed. The surgical lamp hung just above my slightly swollen tummy. In the corner of the room, at his computer, sat my doctor. He swivelled in his chair.

"Are you ready Ms Sawn?" he asked. I looked at him blankly and nodded.

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	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or its characters.**

Chapter 1

My teeth cracked through marble, cold poison coating the inside of my mouth. She jerked her shoulder out of my grip and leaped onto a nearby tree. Circling the conifer, I growled up at the redhead. Sam and Embry skidded to a halt by my flank, viciously snapping at the red eyed leech perched on a branch out of reach. Our breaths ragged; from a combination of the adrenaline coursing through are veins and the hours this bitch just made us run. Not to mention the ever rising anger within the pack mind. My lips drew back revealing perfectly sharp razor teeth and my hackles perked as she spat each word.

"You can't protect her forever" she hissed.

'_Protect who?'_ Embry growled.

I barked, _'Focus Embry'_.

He crouched to lunge forward as the leech turned to disappear into the thick canopy of the Canadian forest.

'_Stop,' _our alphas voice vibrated through our linked minds, Embry obeyed.

'_This is not our territory, ba-'._

I cut him off, _'that's the fourth time she's slipped through our teeth. Literally' _I piped up. The fucker had us chase her all the way to the Canadian border three times already; it was really pissing me off. And what the hell kept her coming back for more? Who was she trying to hunt?

'_She is no longer on our territory and a risk to our people; we'll deal with her if she comes back.'_ His voice held the undertone of an alpha command, indicating that this conversation was over. Sam turned towards La Push and bolted, the imprint pulling him to Emily.

'_Whipped,'_ I thought.

'_Careful,'_ Sam warned.

'_Yeah, yeah'_ I chuckled. And we followed.

The pack knew my views on imprinting. To have your choice taken away from you was not appealing. Being stuck with the same person for the rest of your life was a terrifying concept. I mean what if my imprint was this ugly, fat chick that had a bad case of facial hair. Huh, what was a wolf to do then?

'_Love her for who she is…'_ Embry questioned.

Snorting, I flashed images of my latest conquest through the link. Images of me buried balls deep in the fuck hot pussy of a skinny blonde. Of her riding my cock, sucking me off and her full lips wrapped around my shaft.

The virgin groaned.

'_Not a fucking chance with the women I've been with,'_ I laughed. Between patrol, school and work I didn't have a lot of spare time. What time I did have was spent getting laid. I've been with my fair share of women, hell I'd been with Embry's share of women. And I wasn't about to stop on the account of some voodoo magic shit. I didn't want to be tied down by one girl, during my prime. Where the hell was the fun in that? What if I imprinted on the, abstinent, preacher's daughter? Or some, barely illegal, kid who had no idea where I could put it? And there was a lot of _it,_ to put.

Embry's wolf huffed.

I asked gruffly,_ 'Something bothering you, pup?'_

'_N... no,' _he stuttered.

'_Spit it out'_

'_It's just I thought… I thought that the imprinter is supposed to be what the imprint needs.'_

'_Yeah, and?'_

'_Well, you keep thinking about yourself. What about what she'll need? You're supposed to know what you're imprint needs, right.' _

Sam joined in, '_absolutely, but Paul here thinks he's above that, don't you? Emily always said she wanted me to stay away from her. But that wasn't what she needed. I tried fighting it for her, but that was never gonna work. The pull got stronger every minute I was away from her. And then I…' _

The rest of the sentence went unsaid but not unheard. We all knew what Sam had done, how he had scarred his mate. He could still feel his claws slice through her delicate skin. The feel of her blood under his paws and see the matted fur in his mind. Sam had never forgiven himself for what he had done to Emily and he never would.

Silence graced the pack mind, nothing but the humming of the forest, our paws and breathing could be heard, until Jared phased in. I wondered why we hadn't heard him for a while, guess he was about to tell us.

'_There's a problem,' _He exclaimed. _'It's Jake… he's injured.'_

'_What!?' _Embry's voice rung painfully through the pack mind.

I growled, _'Jesus Embry!'_

'_Quiet,' _the command rippled through our skulls. _'Jared, what happened?'_

'_He tried to take on a nomad, by himself. I got Harry to take a look at him. He's got a broken arm that should healed by tomorrow.'_

Sam snarled. _'Boy thinks he knows it all. I trust you took care of it. Where is he now?'_

'_At home sleeping it off, it wasn't his fault I should've been paying more attention. Damn it! I knew I never should have let him patrol the eastern border alone.' _Jared whined.

'_You should've known better, but what's done is done.'_

We were now approaching the forks border, home was in sight and my bed was calling to me. I was dying for a shower and some zzz's.

'_Meet us at the Black residence in 10.' _Sam ordered Jared._ 'We'll check on Jake, maybe take him to Em's if he's up for it.'_

I could see the little red house and garage in Jared's mind, he was already there. There was a shift and just like that the image was gone. Jared had phased out.

We had just passed the La Push border. It felt great having my paws pounding on familiar soil, I relished in the freedom running gave us. But as always, the freedom was closely followed by the weight of the responsibility that phasing brought. Morphing into a giant vampire killing wolf had it advantages. The growth spurt was one but the pain it caused was a down fall. Never getting cold was useful but never being about to feel cool was frustrating. The strength the change gifted was awesome, but never being able to fully let go around humans was disappointing. People assuming you were part of some steroid pumping cult is never an upside. But that did keep them at a healthy distance for the pack though, which was great.

Sam reduced his speed, Embry and I followed. Jared was waiting for us just shy of the tree line clad in this usual cut-off's and the only sneakers he had left. We had ripped our clothes and shoes trying to get a hang of our anger and phasing. Eventually, we got the hint and stopped wearing shit that wasn't necessary. Good think we never got cold.

We phased back, didn't bother trying to hide out junk. No point, we'd seen it all before, still we had the decency of turning away from our pack brothers to get dressed. I crouched down and untied the bungee cord from around my ankle, which secured my clothes to me when in wolf form. I unrolled my cut-offs and slipped them on; I zipped the fly and snapped my button secure, before turning to talk to Jared.

Jared nodded in acknowledgment. Slapping me on the back, "better luck next time," he sniggered. Bastard thought this shit was funny.

"Shut the fuck up, I'd like to see you do better. Oh wait! You tired but couldn't match up to my awesomeness, could you?"I retorted. He hadn't even come within a feet of the leech when she had decided to grace us with her presence last week. If he wasn't my best friend I would beat his ass.

'Let's go,' Sam interrupted as he passed. We broke through the tree line in classic V formation, instinctively. Embry and Jared announced our arrival by shouting the wolf call.

Odd think was, there; to the side of the red house was parked Billy's old truck. Ah, leech lover had finally lost the last sliver of her dignity and paid Jake a visit. I chuckled, Jared eyed me suspiciously. Before I could bite his head off the porch door banged furiously against the side of the house. I snapped my head around to see, the small figure of, Bella Swan storming down the steps and hurtling towards the pack.

_Stupid little girl,_ I thought. _Give me a reason to rip you apart, just one. _ I couldn't stand her for using Jake to put her back together after her precious leech left.

"What did you do to him?!"her voice rung out as she stepped to my alpha and pushed him with her feeble, skinny little forearm. Her brows furrowed with fury.

"Hey. Watch it little girl," Jared and I warned simultaneously.

"Easy," Sam stuck out his arm to stop us making any moves.

She shrunk back. _That's right little girl, be afraid._

"He didn't want this!" she declared. _No shit._ Nobody wanted this.

"What _did _we do? What did he do? What did he tell you?" my body tense, Jake had no business telling the leech lover our tribe secrets. My breathing becoming uneven, anger rose from my core I could feel my skin ripple. Sam grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly backwards.

"Both of you calm down" Sam's placid voice brought back my restraint. But I could still feel little tremors under my skin. My breathing even out but was still laboured from fighting the phase. The little girl glanced at Jared and turned her pretty little head back to me. I could only imaging what his express portrayed, anger no doubt. I looked at her full bottom lip as she spoke.

"He tells me nothing because he's scared of you!" she provided. _For real?_ _About fucking time, the boy was fearless. _The notion, so ridiculous Jared and I both started laughing. I trailed my eyes to look into hers, about to tell her just how wrong she was. And then my universe shifted, every little thread that had tied me to this world broke. Instead, steel cables wrapped around my heart, shot through my torso and straight to her. _Shit._ I just imprinted.

Next thing I see is Jared's panicked face. _Huh? _I was too busy lost in her brown doe eyes that I hadn't noticed her tiny hand raise to slap me. _She slapped me?_ My imprint had just slapped me. She might as well had taken a knife and stabbed my heart and twisted it. That shit hurt. Yet again, I was fighting to remain calm. Sam placed his hand on my shoulder and he pushed me back.

"Paul, don't." he said but I was way past the point of return. My imprint hated me.

"Too late now." Jared's voice held amusement, as he backed up.

Sam raised his hand towards her, "Bella, get back." my shoulders heaved from my fizzling resolve. I could feel the tremors return to full out shakes. Spittle flew from my mouth as she backed up. She looked at my feet and then her eyes shot right up to my face. She looked terrified, this only fuelled my anger. _She hated me and she was scared of me! Great going Paul! _I was her imprint she wasn't supposed to be afraid of me. _Shit I had really fucked up. _And just like that, I couched forward and phased. Fur exploded from my skin, sharp teeth displayed through a snarl and claws digging into the dirt. I stepped forward and she countered my advance by stepping back. I lowered my head to look less intimidating but she turned and ran for the house.

Her breathing developed to gasps as she dashed towards the safety of Jake's house. The baby alpha was already on the porch.

"Bella!" he shouted and jumped over the railing and over the stream. _What the fuck happened to the broken arm?_

"Run Jake, run!" she shouted while running towards him and away from me. _Fuck that shit. _She was not choosing him over me, ever. I growled, stalking towards my brother. He was getting too close for comfort. I could see his muscles shaking, and I knew he was about to phase._ Careful Black_.

Just as he reached her, she fell at his feet. _Wow, she really was clumsy!_ Jake jumped as Bella impacted the ground, phasing in mid-air.

'_You have to go through me first!' he growled ferociously._

'_Step aside Black, she's my imprint' I snapped. _

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	3. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews, they're lovely. But feel free to rip my writing apart, it's the only way I'll improve.**

_**(Bold italics) **_– wolf speaking__

'_Impossible' _another vicious growl ricocheted through the clearing.

'_Really, well this is gonna be fun'_ my wolf smirked. I relayed what had just happened moments before he interrupted. I could feel Jake's sadness roll of his wolf in waves. The wind picked up and blew the scent of orange blossom straight up my snout. _Bella._ He barked again. I growled. There was another scent accompanying hers but I couldn't figure out why I smelt it. I took a step forward to get a clear view. This was obviously the wrong move.

'_No,'_ Jake sprung towards me heading straight from my neck. He latched on. I twisted out of his jaws. His teeth sunk into the other side. _Shit._ He lost his footing and we rolled backwards. I pushed my hind legs up and launched him off of me. I vaulted back up. His neck was bared and I took my chance. He wriggled and swiped his paw against my cheek. I turned my head back to the brown wolf and charged. He pushed me away. My claws digging into the dirt to stop my wolf tumbling backwards. We circled.

'_You can't have her' _he declared.

'I don't want her.' I shook my head.

He snarled _'what? She not good enough for you?'_

'_Definitely'_

'_Wrong answer, asshole'_ he shot forward. Jaws snapping, trying to get the upper hand. I dodged his advance but he managed to rip into my neck. I whimpered. I wrench out of his hold and snapped at him. We stumbled around trying to get leverage. I fell forward. Jake threw his head up and butted me backwards. I rocked. He bit into my shoulder, raised his paw and brought it down hard onto my back. Forcing me to the ground. I twist and swatted his paw away. He fell onto of my silver form. I hurled him away with my legs and scrambled to get up. He charged at me and we fell into Billy's rowing boat. Splinters flew in all directions. Rolling into the forest, I had just come from; we kept nipping and clawing at each other. Tumbling to a stop, we both jumped up and away.

'_You don't deserve her_' Jake spat.

'_Yeah, you're right, I don't. I deserve better than a leeches' sloppy seconds._' I growled circling the pup. He snarled.

Jake dug his back paws into the soil ready to leap forward but then there was a shift.

'_Stop,'_ Came the command. Jake's wolf shuddered as he tried to fight the order. I smirked. _Who's you daddy now, pup._

'_Paul, enough. Does someone want to tell me what the fuck just happened back there? Haven't I told you both time and time again to reign in the wolf around humans?_' he roared._ 'Did anything I teach you beside how to fight settle into you dumb little brains.' _He bellowed, pissed.

Jake and I relaxed our stance and backed away from our alpha. _'You could have hurt her._' Jake snapped his head round to me and scowled.

'_I wasn't the only one to phase close to her.'_ I huffed.

'_Oh please, she was miles away from me!'_ Jake retorted.

'_Shut up'_ our alpha's voice vibrated._ 'Both of you could have hurt her. Did my mistake teach you nothing?' _We hung our heads in shame. He was right I could have hurt her. I shouldn't have phased so closed to her. I knew I had better control than what I had just shown. It hadn't even been minutes and already the imprint was taking over my life. _Stupid imprint. _

'_Imprint? You imprinted?'_ he asked confused.

'_On Bella! He imprinted on my Bella,' _Jake provided.

'_You're Bella? Last time I checked weren't her boyfriend and you hadn't imprinted on her. So how in the fuck is she – you know what, doesn't matter. You can have her, I don't want -.'_

'_Paul,'_ my alpha cut me off. _'The sprit has chosen her for you. She is meant for you. You can't fight this. It's meant to be.'_

'_The fuck I can't fight this shit!'_ I barked. _'Watch me'_ I challenged. Jake let out an approving grunt.

'_I am not about to sit back and watch a member of my pack get hurt. You will not hurt her.'_ he promised.

I snorted. _'I mean it Paul'_

'_I can't have an imprint, I don't know the first thing about this shit'_ I voiced. How was I supposed to look after a broken girl when I was such a fuck up? I wasn't cut out for relationships and crap.

'_Tell me about it'_ Jake sneered.

'_Shut it, pup'_ I glowered.

'_Don't think I've forgotten about you. How did Bella find out about the pack?_' Sam questioned. I chuckle. _Here we go._

'_I didn't tell her anything I swear, well…at least not after I phased. I just pushed her in the right direction, is all.'_ He shrugged and carried on. _'She was down in first beach last year, surfing, I told her about our ancestors and the cold ones. To be honest I never thought she'd figure it out this quickly.'_ He stated proudly.

Sam was silent.

'_Double patrols for the both of you._' He cemented the punishment with a nod.

'_What?!'_ Jake and I squealed _'but!_' _'Together'_ he responded. That shut us up.

'_And Paul, you can try to fight the imprint as long as your wolf is on its game.'_ He paused. _'If you wolf becomes unsettled, you are to immediately go to her and work it through.'_ The timbre in his voice weighted heavily down on my wolf. My nose touching the ground from the burden of the order.

Sam trotted off.

'_Embry and Jared are on their way to Emily's with Bella. I expect you to behave yourselves.' _Sam picked up his speed and ran towards Emily's leaving me with the Jake.

Awkward silence cast throughout the pack mind. I didn't say anything; he wouldn't even look at me. '_Jake… I. I'm sorry.' _I started.

'Like hell you are.' He scoffed. And bolted towards Em's, I followed at a leisurely pace. Not in any rush. I wasn't happy with imprinting and it made it worse that I had imprinted on Jake's Bella. He had been in love with her since they were kids. And it made me feel like a right dick that I had taken away any chance of them being together. Again, there was that distinctive shift and my brothers phased out. I didn't want to fight with him, we were meant to be a unit. The only way this could work out was to let him get all opportunities to win her over. He had kept reminding us that he was close to getting Bella to love him more than a friend. And I wasn't about to ruin his chances just because I had imprinted on her. He was way better for her than I could ever be and he knew that. _She's Jake's Bella. _

My wolf jostled. _**Ours, not his. Ours. **_He declared.

_Whoa_. He'd never spoken so clearly to me and with such conviction, it caught me off guard.

_If he wants her, I'm not going to stop him from having her._

_**Yes you will, you just don't know it yet. **_He cackled.

I was now approaching Em's and I could hear the mindless pack chatter going on in her kitchen. Apparently there was a bet going on between Jared and Embry, which Embry had won. I emerged from the forest directly opposite the back door which was slightly a jar. And yet again I could smell orange blossom and same the phantom whiff accompanying it. I couldn't place the scent but it was making me uneasy.

_**Fool. **_The wolf sneered.

_What did I do now? _I enquired.

_**It's her blood. **_He growled. _**Doesn't even know his own mates blood. **_He mocked.

_She's not my mate; _I rumbled and pulled a pair of Sam's shorts hanging on the washing line off. I snagged them between my teeth and jogged off past the tree line to phase back.

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	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

**Thanks for the reviews.**

**I have a few assignments due in for uni, so I'll need to ration out the chapters I've written over the last week.**

**I will update every Saturday for at least the next 2 months. **

**(BPOV)**

_What had just happened? _I looked past the remnants of Billy's boat into the trail that the wolves had stumbled into. I couldn't think, couldn't blink and I was suspiciously feeling faint. I don't think I took in a breath until I heard Sam's gruff voice tell the two strangers to take me to Emily's.

"Guess the wolf's out the bag" I heard a familiar voice utter. But when I looked up to see the two russet figures running over to me I couldn't recognise any of them.

The taller man was slender and had glistening russet brown skin. I noticed that his long rounded muscles were less pronounced than the others. His cropped black hair fell haphazardly into his deep brown eyes, eyes that I had seen before. He had a thin upper lip but his lower lip more than compensated. Right underneath his luscious sweetheart lips was a breathtakingly charming dimple. The other person was the same height as the one I had slapped. He had long rounded muscles, encased in red-brown skin. He had the same brown eyes as the taller one, and cropped brown hair. His lips perfectly balanced in fullness set above a strong jawline.

I tried to push myself away from them as they got closer, but there was a sharp pain shooting up my arm. _Damn it._ I winced. When I looked down at the source of the pain, all I could see was blood covering my hand and jacket sleeve.

"Shit Bella, the whole rez to fall on and you fell on the square inch that had glass on it." The leaner man said. I looked up at him, cocked my head to the side and glanced back down at my hand. _I know your voice._ I had always hated blood but even more so now than ever; my blood was what had compelled Edward and his family to leave. The man crouched down next to me.

"Hey," his voice low as the back of his hand caressed my cheek. I flinched away from the electrifying heat.

"Look at me" he pleaded softly. I raised my teary eyes to look at his face. His eyes were so familiar but I couldn't place them. And then I remembered a few months ago I had come face to face with the same kind eyes.

"Embry," I whispered.

His lips quirked up into a lopsided grin, "Hi." He breathed.

"Let's get you cleaned up." He snaked one hand around my arm and the other he placed on the small of my back. "Upsy daisy" he chuckled, helping me up and then started leading me towards Jake's house. My knees felt weak as I took step after step towards the red house. _What had just happened?_ I couldn't quite wrap my head around it. Yeah, I had figured out that the story Jacob had told me last year was true; but I hadn't contemplated actually seeing its physical manifestation so soon. Never mind after I had slapped a stranger. _I had slapped a stranger_. What the fuck was wrong with me. _I had slapped a stranger who turned into a gigantic wolf. _Yup, I had lost my inhibitions. I kept my gaze on the ground to stop myself from losing my footing and falling again. I was thankful that Embry still had a supportive hand place firmly on my back.

"Em, hurry up, I'm hungry" the other man whinged. Embry turned towards the voice and removed his hand from my back and ultimately the support. Next thing I knew the ground was getting closer, I gasped. Just before I impacted the floor for a second time today, two warm hands wrapped securely around my waist and stopped my descent.

"You alright there?" he asked turning me around to face him. I nodded meekly.

"I'm Jared, by the way" I gave him a small smile in acknowledgment.

Jared squinted his eyes; I looked down at the ground. "Hey Em, 10 says she hurls" he said take my head in his hand and pulling it up to study my face closely.

"What are you talking about?" Embry asked annoyed, and pushed Jared out of the way.

"Bells, hey" he implored. Taking my head in his hands, just as Jared had done.

"You're looking a little green there…" there was a pause. I _was _feeling slightly nauseous. It was a combination of factors really. The blood was definitely at the top of the list of things that were making me nauseous. And the fight had shaken me up a little too. I shrunk away from Embry. _Was he a wolf too? He might be, after all he is in Sam's gang._

"C'mon Bella, it's me Embry. The same guy you met in Jake's garage. Still me, but now I'm the hottest man alive" he winked. Jared choked out a giggle before he bent over with laughter.

"Okay maybe not the hottest, but I'm up there with the hottest" he smirked. My shoes had all of a sudden become the most interesting items of clothing in the world. Something I noticed the boys were lacking. He was pretty hot I'll admit.

"Let's take care of your hand, shall we?" Embry asked shyly. I opted for nodding my head because I didn't trust my voice. He took my uninjured hand and led me up the back porch and into the house. Jared followed, tears streaming down his face.

"Billy?" Embry called.

"Yeah, in here" he bellowed from the living room. He was sitting in his wheelchair in front of the TV, watching a game.

"You have a first aid kit kicking about? Bella's cut her hand"

"Yeah. In the cupboard under the sink, in the bathroom. Are you okay Bella?" Billy asked concerned.

My voice cracked, "fine." I replied with a nod, hiding the hand from him. Embry led me down the narrow hall towards the small bathroom. There wasn't enough space in there for me, let alone me and him together. We stopped at the door of the bathroom; I tugged on his hand and said "I can do it myself." Giving him every opportunity to back out of helping me.

I could hear Jared asking Billy if he had anything to eat, but I didn't catch his reply because Embry had spoken over Billy.

"How exactly do you plan on tackling that mess with one hand, huh?" I didn't have an answer. He shook his head and laughed "thought so."

Embry let go of my hand and side stepped into the bathroom. He bent down and took out a green box from the cupboard and placed it on the counter. Spinning around, he beckoned me into the bathroom with a come hither motion of his index finger. I eyed him suspiciously; he chuckled, but I stepped forward anyway. As soon as I was in the bathroom he patted the counter were the box lay. I looked at him confused, not understanding what he was communicating. All confusion was cleared though, when he took me by the waist, pulled me towards him, and then lifted me up and onto the counter. I was too shocked to speak so I just stared wide-eyed.

"What?" he asked. _What?! You just manhandled me! That's what._

I shook my head. He smiled at me, helping me out the jacket. He rolled up a t-shirt sleeve and stepped between my legs. _Maybe I should've sat cross-legged on the counter. _

"Let's see what we've got here" he spoke. Em reached over to the sink I was sitting beside and turned on the tap. He asked me how I was feeling but I wasn't able to answer, so I just nodded. Embry swiped his finger through the stream of water coming from the tap and shook his head. He adjusted the temperature.

He spoke again, "give me something more to work with here, Bells. I nod isn't gonna cut it." He stated.

"I'm fine, just a lot to take in at once." I stated.

"Understandable, so you have any questions about what happened just?" he asked, looking up at me through his long lashes. I shook my head no.

"Nothing at all?" he encouraged. "Not even why Paul just turned into a wolf when you slapped him? Are you sure?" _Paul? Was that his name? _

"Well actually…How did you first, you know… turn into wolves?" I whispered.

Embry leaned in closer to me and asked "why are you whispering?" I shrugged. He laughed wholeheartedly. _Glad someone was finding this situation funny_. He took my hand and pushed it under the harm water "think I'll let Billy tell you". I nodded my head and sighed, it felt good.

"That nice?" he asked. "M-hmm" was my response and I closed my eyes.

He dried my hand with the towel hanging on the hook by the door. Turning it over, he inspected the top and bottom of my hand looking for any wound. He made a tsking noise, I opened my eyes to see what he was looking at. But I couldn't see anything. No blood flow or pieces of glass embed in my hand. _Odd, I_ thought.

"Ahh, there it is" Embry declared. I couldn't see anything. But on closer inspection, on the junction where my pinkie met my palm was a small slit.

"That's all?" I asked relieved. "Looks like it" Embry responded. _Whew! _I thought it was gonna be a big gaping hole with the amount of blood was covering my right hand. Hence I hand my eyes closed. I didn't want Embry to lose his bet with Jared.

Em rummaged through the box and pulled out a mepore dressing and some Dettol. First he diluted the antiseptic and applied it gently to my hand with a cotton ball; pausing now and again to blow onto the stinging cut. And finally he coved the wound with the dressing.

"All done" he said, while washing his hands. He tidied the box away and helped me off the counter; steadying me before letting go of my hips. I backed out of the bathroom and turned to walk down the hall towards a yelling Billy and sad looking Jared.

Billy turned and gave me a smile, "You okay?"

"Good, I'm fine" I reassured him.

**Reviews are very helpful for provided incentive to write more chapters.**

**I know parts of this chapter don't have good English, but that's how I think Bella narrates her story.**

**And I will definitely update next Saturday. Till then have a good week. **


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

**Saturday update**

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**BPOV**

An amused looking Embry walked past me and threw himself down on the couch, next to Jared.

"Is everything okay?" I asked concerned, looking between Jared and Billy. They didn't reply, but Embry did.

"Yeah bells, everything's peachy. Jared just doesn't know when to stop" Embry said nudging him with his elbow. I frowned, _what was he on about?_

"I'd wipe that smug look of my face if I were you, boy" Billy interjected. "What were you doing Embry when all this was going on? Standing watching like he was, I bet. What if something happened to Bella, huh? What would I tell Charlie? The man's my best friend. How could I tell him his baby got mauled to death by a wild animal in my back yard? What was that moron thinking, phasing so close to her?" he shouted at the sullen boys.

Jared squeaked "Sam - ."

"I don't want to hear it," Billy yelled manoeuvring his wheelchair to face me. Wow he was pissed.

"Are you okay Bella?" he extended his arm towards me taking my injured hand in his.

"I'm fine, really, Billy… And Paul didn't do this" I said pointing to the dressing. "That was all me, you know how clumsy I am," I waved my other hand trying to brush it off.

Billy spun his head towards the boys and commanded "someone better get off their ass and make her some tea now!" Embry looked at Jared.

"That would be you" he said. Jared made a huffing noise and reluctantly peeled himself of the couch and made his way over to the kitchen.

"Have a seat Bella, I'm sure you have a lot of questions" he supplied guiding me towards Jared's stop on the couch. "I guess I'll start from the beginning" he commented rubbing the back of his head **(A/N I'm sure you all know the story about the gene and the link with vampires. I'm not going to repeat it otherwise they'll never get to Emily's.)**

"So you know about the-" I was cut off.

"Yes, we know about the Cullen's" he said looking at me disappointingly. I averted my eyes away from his and into the cup of sweet tea in my lap.

"But they're nice people…" I started to defend, but the growls in the room interrupted my argument.

"They aren't people. They're _vampires_, Bella." Embry snarled, I shrunk further into the couch. "They're monsters, the undead." He bellowed. "They aren't natural."

_Hypocrite._

"So are you" I muttered under my breath.

"Yeah, we are. But only because of them. Didn't you here what Billy just said. Were shifters because of those things you love so much" he roared. _How did he even hear me?_

"They never hurt anybody."

"You think they've always been so tamed?" my eyes shoot up to meet Jared's face. _What? _"You think they've always had this much restraint? Your naïve if you think that's true." He mocked. "Bella, do you have any idea how hard it was to control our anger, when we first phased? How difficult it was to reign in our wolves and to get a handle on phasing?" he questioned. "Take it for me; it's impossible to never loss focus on such a primal, basic instinct" he continued. "I guarantee it was exactly the same for your Cullens, there need for blood is just as primal and just as basic, if not more so than phasing" he threw his hands up in the air. "Bella, please tell me you don't actually believe they've NEVER hurt anyone?" he said shaking his head. My eyes dropped to my lap were I had been wringing my hands forcefully. _He was right, why had I never thought about it._

"They've never hurt anyone, since I've known them" I whispered.

"They wouldn't dare violate the treaty" Embry piped up. "Not unless they have a death wish." I nodded my head. I could see it was clearly useless trying to defend the Cullens to wolves. _Mortal enemies and all_.

Embry took the mug from where I had placed it on the coffee table and placed it on the counter in the kitchen. "I think we should get to Em's now" he suggested.

"Yes! Finally. Thought I was gonna starve to death" Jared exclaimed rushing out the door.

I forced myself into a standing position and made my way over to Billy. I bent down to give him a hug. "I'm sorry" I told him, turned and walked out the door following Embry. _I was the reason the Cullens stayed. The Cullens staying meant the boys phased. The boys were stuck in La Push because they had phased. It was all my fault. All of it._

I leant on my truck. _What had I done?_

"Bella give me the keys, I'm driving" Embry instructed. I willing gave him the keys besides I was in no fit state to drive. He slide in behind the wheel and I made my way over to the passenger side slowly.

"Hurry it up Bella, the pancakes won't eat themselves" Jared cried from the bed of my truck. I laughed at his immaturity and climbed into the cab. As soon he heard the belt click, Em was speeding out the driveway.

It wasn't long before we were pulling up in front of a charming house, snuggled into a cluster of conifers. There were yellow flowers growing in buckets outside the door. It looked welcoming. The driver's door slamming shut had snapped something inside me. I remembered. _What happened to Jake and Paul?_

I rolled down the window. "Hey, I think we should go back and see if Jacob's okay" _why weren't they concerned_.

Jared and Embry stopped walking; Jared turned his head partially to me. "I hope Paul sinks some teeth into him, serves him right" he supplied.

"No way, Jacob's a natural" Embry jumped down the step. "Did you see him phase on the fly. I've got 5 that says Paul doesn't touch him" he stated confidently.

Embry must've noticed I wasn't following them. They both spun around "come on in Bella, we would bite" Em reassured with amusement. _Yeah right. _I was about to step into a strangers house with two shifters. That shift into WOLVES!

"Speak for yourself" Jared said turning to ascend the steps leading to the front door. I bit the inside of my cheek and worked up the courage to open the door. _Embry's here, I know him. He's Jake's friend. _I took in a deep breath and opened the door.

When I reached Embry he stopped me. "Oh hey, about Emily, Sam's fiancée. Don't stare. It bugs Sam" and walked off. _That's it! Nothing more. No why I shouldn't stare? Give a girl some warning Em, what shouldn't I stare at?_

"Why would I stare?" I called after his retreating form.

I cautiously made my way up the stairs and peered into the house. There standing, leaning against the counter was a tall slender woman asking the boys if they were hungry. There was nothing to stare at here, except her thick luscious hair and nice ass. Her melodic voice was sweet and her laugh was lovely. _What was Embry talking about?_ I trailed my eyes from her feet to her face; there was nothing wrong with her. She was the most attractive woman I had ever seen.

But then she turned towards me. I could see all of her face. See the three scars running down the side, towards her neck which disappeared behind her undershirt. But oddly she was still insanely beautiful to me. _And now I was staring!_

"Who's this?" she enquired. I averted my eyes to the boys sitting at the table with huge stacks of honey smothered pancakes.

"Bella swan, who else?" Jared provided sarcastically.

"Ahh, so, you're the vampire girl." _Ha, apparently._

I looked everywhere except at her. "So, you're the wolf girl" I countered stepping into the house.

She smiled. _Even her smile was to die for._ "Guess so," she said picking up the tray of pancakes and placing them on the table "well…engaged to one."

Jared's hand armed with a fork shot out, she grabbed it. "Save some for you brothers…and ladies first" she shook their shoulders with her tiny hands. "Pancakes?" she offered.

"Sure" I stepped forward and pulled out a chair. I picked up the fork lying next to the plate and gripped it but the pain shoot up my arm again. "Damn it!" I whispered.

"Here Bells, let me" Embry spoke already slapping two pancakes on my plate.

"It's okay, my other hand still works" I lifted my hand to show him.

"Who are you trying to convince. You're a messy enough eater with your right hand" he laughed. "There's no way you can eat with the other hand and survive without getting honey on yourself…or others for the matter" he mocked chuckling. I rolled my eyes. _Wait how did he know? He'd never seen me eat._

"What happened, Bella?" Emily queried anxiously.

"Oh, nothing. I just fell" I said shaking my head. She nodded.

"Leave it to Jake, to find a way around Sam's gag order" she stated turning towards the cooker and turning on the gas under a skillet.

"Umm, he didn't say anything to me" I watched as Embry switched his seat so he was sitting next to me. He reached over the table and snatched the honey sitting next to Jared's plate and smothered my pancakes with it from a height.

"It's a wolf thing" he started "alphas orders get obeyed, whether we want to or not." His eyebrow shot up into his hairline. "oh and check it out, we can hear each other's thoughts." _Is that how he knew?_ He cut off a bit of pancake and raised the fork to my mouth; I opened my mouth and bit the cake into my mouth.

"Will you shut up, these are trade secrets" Jared reprimanded. "Damn it! This chick runs with vampires" he exclaimed.

I swallowed the sweet cake. "You can't really run with vampires," Emily made a mocking noise and Embry rewarded me with another piece of delicious pancake. "Because they're fast," I added.

"Yeah…well we're faster" he defied. "Freaked out yet" he hoped.

I shrugged "you're not the first monsters I've met." I said matter of factly. Looking at Embry, I pleaded with my eyes for him to feed me, he chuckled.

He lifted the fork to my open mouth; I closed my eyes waiting for the scrumptious treat, but it never came. I snapped my eyes open to look at him. He was gazing past my head and then it was evident why.

"Jake's right, you're good with weird," said a gruff voice. I turned around in my chair to see a tall man scuffing his shoes on the mat at the door. He was exuding authority. _Guess he's Sam, the alpha?_

His eyes zoned in on Emily and he rushed towards her. "Hey" he cooed, extending his arms towards her. Sam grasped her hips, turned and pulled her towards him. He bent down so he was at eye level with Emily and kissed her sweetly on the lips. Pulling back he looked into her eyes and started placing kisses all over her face and hair. She giggled and wrapped her arms around Sam's waist and settled her head on his chest.

Embry cleared his throat. _Right…staring was rude._ He placed another piece into my mouth. A moment later, Jacob barged through the door. He was dressed in different clothes than earlier today. Jake made a bee line for me; he pulled out my chaired in kneeled in front of me.

"You okay?" he asked, tucking a strand of my loose hair behind my ear. I nodded and dropped my eyes into my lap, chewing frantically; His eyes taking inventory.

"Bella, what happened to your hand?" he demanded, roughly taken it in his and inspecting it closely.

I timidly replied "nothing, cut it when I fell" I shrugged. "Embry helped me clean it" I reassured him.

"Thanks Em" he said, turning to Embry and clapped him on the back as a sign of appreciation.

"No problem" he said handing the fork to Jake. _No, what if Jake didn't know to feed me? I wanted more pancakes. _Shit the food was turning into a whiny wee sod. _It was turning me in to Jared. _I shuddered.

"Cold," Jake asked, but before I could reply he had scooped me up, sat down on my chair and deposited me in his lap. _Umm, Jake. Slightly inappropriate! But he was warm and I _was_ cold._

He scooted the chair in towards the table and I watched as he took a bit of my pancake and ate it! _Mine._

"Something you need?" he asked looking at me with amusement.

"Yeah, I need you to tell me how Embry knows how I eat. How he can hear me, even when I mumble. Why the hell are you so warm!?" I wasn't finished. "And stop eating my delicious pancakes. They're mine, feed me. Not yourself!"

Jacob looked at me like I had just grown two heads. There was a pause. "What?" I asked innocently and looked around the room. No one said anything and then they all burst out laughing. No warning, no nothing. They all just broke out in hysterics. _Are they crazy?_ I eyed them suspiciously.

"Oh, I'm sorry bells" Jake chocked out, wiping the tears away from his cheek. "Here" he said lift the fork for me this time. _That's better_. I chewed my pancake and rested my head on his shoulder.

"As for everything else, it's a wolf thing" he stated proudly.

"Sure, sure. Just keep feeding me pancakes" I ordered.

"Hey, where's Paul?" Jared asked. Jake stiffened. I lifted my head off his shoulder and looked up at his face. Following his line of sight I found that he was looking at an equally rigid Sam. _That's odd._

"I don't know. Probably nursing his wou-" Jacob spat.

"Pay up!" Embry shouted, a smug look gracing his face. Jared shook his head and pulled out the money from his back pocket.

I looked around the room and saw something I hadn't seen before. The scene in front of me projected love from Sam and Emily. Of friendship from Embry and Jake and of family from all of them. I was awed by how comfortable they felt around each other, the confidence they seemed to have with each other. It was something to bottle and cherish forever. _Would I ever have that? Someone how'll love me like Sam did Emily. Or family that cared about me. I already had the friendship and I was never letting it go._

I looked at Jake laughing features. So carefree, so relaxed. But I wasn't feeling the same.

I felt a chill climb up my spine. There was this buzzing sound in the distance. Something pulling me backwards. A tingling sensation raked through my being, making me shudder slightly. I released a shaky breath and closed my eyes trying to fight this unknown pull. But my focus was shattered when a coarse voice startled me.

"The leech lover's still here I see" it spat viciously. I didn't like it, but my body felt the need to see who spat such a nasty comment about me.

I turned around in Jake's lap to see a man that wasn't as tall as Embry standing in the back door to the house. He was dressed in cut-off's riding dangerously low on the hips. He was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest, defensively. His long muscles bulged outwards thanks to the manner of his stance; he was tense like he was fighting something. His abs had definitely been worshipped by girls across the state. His pronounced V would've had the preacher's daughter lusting after him. I trailed my eyes to his face. His lips set in a smirk, eyes hazel with little flecks of gold sprinkled throughout his irises penetrated deep into my soul. My breathing hitched, I didn't like it at all.

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**Please review**

**Next chapter will be up on Saturday.**

**Hope you have a nice week. **


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

**Saturday update**

**Thank you for reviewing**

**BPOV**

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"Bella, this is Paul" Sam introduced, sipping on his coffee. It was only then I noticed the entire room stopped their chatter to watch me blatantly eye-fuck this total stranger.

Jake's arms tightened around my waist as I raised my hand to give him a small wave, "Hi" I said quietly. _Maybe I should apologise for slapping him?_

Paul grunted and pushed himself off the door frame and made his way towards the table. I shaped myself in to Jake's chest. _You turned into a wolf and growled at me. You just had a fight with my best friend!_ I was scared, really scared. He wasn't nice; he had called me leech lover.

"Bella," Jake fussed. "It's okay, he won't hurt you. I'm here, you're safe" he assured me, I took in a deep breath and rested my head on his shoulder once again, closing my eyes.

"What is she still doing here, this is a pack breakfast. She…" his voice laced in poison argued "isn't pack." He was right I had no reason to stay here; _except the delicious mouth-watering pancakes…and Jake, of course_.

"She can stay as long as she wants" Jake defended stroking my hair. _You tell him!_

"We need to discuss what happened with the leech" he growled "she's a leech lover" _there's that phrase again_. "Besides she's not even tribe, she's a paleface," he spat.

"Enough" the authoritative voice vibrated throughout the kitchen, making me shiver.

"She's Jacob's friend, she can stay" Sam said with finality. _Ha, take that!_

"Which leech?" Jake enquired.

"The same one we chased to Canada last week" Embry provided.I opened my eyes intrigued by their conversation but I was distracted by my plate still full of pancakes. I wasn't expecting Jake to interrupt his important conversation to help me, so I picked up the fork. But I soon as I gripped it, I grimaced.

Jacob pried the fork from my hand and put it down on the table. I kept my eyes focused on the plate.

"…so she got away, again" he said pulling out the chair next to us. He lifted me up and onto that chair and swivelled round to face me, "Why does she keep coming back?" he asked the pack. He cut off a piece of pancake and raised the fork for me to eat off.

"We don't know" Sam sounded defeated. I looked up to see grave looking, exhausted faces. This was really bothering them, I could tell.

"This is bullshit!" came an abrasive voice that surprised me. "She said, 'you can't protect her forever,' or some crap." I looked up to the source of the voice and was met by hazel eyes, I swallowed my pancake. Paul was leaning against the counter next to the fridge with a sandwich in his hand.

"Well, it's not like we can invite the red head round from lunch and ask her what she wants" Jared added. _Red-head? Victoria!_ I gasped.

"What is it?" Jake asked abandoning my pancaked fork, "Is it your hand?" worry evident in his voice. I shook my head negatively. "What is it Bella?" he asked again.

"Victoria" I mumbled.

I heard a growl, "speak up leech lover" he roared.

"It's Victoria," I said with a little more conviction, looking at Jake.

"Who's Victoria, one of the Cullens besties?" he mocked

"…erm…no not exactly." I whispered

"What was that?" he asked irritably.

"Not exactly" I mumbled looking down at my hands in my lap.

"That's it!" he bellowed storming across the room. He yanked me up from the chair, gripping my arms with more force than necessary and pushed me up against the wall.

"You need to speak the fuck up, Isabella. The whole tribes' safety depends on your mumbled words," he shouted down at me; slamming both hands on either side of my head, "Now!" I cowered away from the huge overbearing man and his overpowering heat.

"Paul, c'mon man. Ease up, she's had a rough day," Jared empathised.

He turned to glare at him, "she's had a rough day…" I pushed myself further away from him and into the wall. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes. _What did I do t-?_

"You've had a rough day, little girl? You want to hear about mine" he challenged spinning around to me again. I shook my head violently; I didn't want to hear about it. He stalked to me anyway; I closed my eyes and lowered my head. Paul stood right in front of me, mere inches away. He leaned in and took in a deep breath.

He growled "I was woken at 1 this morning to chase a red-eye vampire away from my people all the way to the Canadian border, for nothing". I tried to mould myself further into the wall. "I run all the way back to the res, just to get slapped across the face by some little girl I don't even know." He had started to crowd me now, I was terrified. I could feel his anger roll off him in waves and he was shaking slightly. He continued as tears rolled down my face, "Then I get into it with the Jacob just because I growled a little at his girlfriend," he snarled, I flinched_._ "I'm tried, frustrated and angry," he roared. "The best part" he lifted my chin with his index finger, forcing me to look at him, "this is all your fault," he said in a hushed tone, ripping his hand from my face and walking away.

"This isn't her-" Jacob growled from his perch on the chair.

"You sure about that?" he probed. "They stayed because of her. We phased because of them. And now there's a leech out there waiting for us to slip up!" he pointed towards the forest.

"Paul, calm down." The alpha soothed.

"Bella, what do you know about this Victoria?" Sam questioned me.

I wiped away my tears and cleared my throat. "She's not a friend of the Cullens," I started. "She was the member of small coven. We…the Cullens and I came across them once when we were out playing baseball," I paused and took in a deep breath. "Her mate, James, found my blood appealing," several growls erupted throughout the kitchen. "He hunted me all the way to Phoenix."

"Last year, when you broke your leg?" Jacob asked shocked. I nodded my head.

"Edward and his family saved my life, but James was killed," I stopped to gather my thoughts, "Now she wants revenge. 'A mate for a mate', was what Laurent told me in that clearing, they day I first saw the wolves." I finished looking around the room at the drained boys. _I had fucked up big time._

"Mate?" Paul teased. "He's not your mate" he spat whirling around to face me with yellow irises. "Mates don't leave their love unprotected and vulnerable. And they certainly don't leave them in the woods in the middle of the fucking night, to die" he barked with a humourless laugh. "You're no mate of his, you were just a pet. A pet they got bored of and abandoned" he didn't let up on his cruelty. "I would've done the same" he sneered.

"That's enough now" Sam commanded. I could hear the rumble coming from Paul's chest and didn't like it.

"At least we got one thing from today's meeting" Embry say enthusiastically.

"Yeah, Paul really hates Bella!" Jared pointed out; _like it needed pointing out_.

"Well that…_and_ we know what the bloodsucker wants. We've got the advantage of Bella being on our territory, we can take her out."

"There's no fucking way we're using her as bait, if that's what you're trying to get at Em." Jacob rumbled.

"No actually, it's perfect," Paul piped up. "She needs to put some sort of effort into this, make our lives easier." He laughed, "After all she's the only reason the leech is here" he scowled.

"Nope, not happening. She is not contributing by being bait Paul, she could die. Is that what you want, your imp-" Jake was cut off.

"Jake's right Paul, it's too risky. We'll stretch out the shifts and push out the boundaries," Sam said giving me a comforting smile.

"We don't have the resources to keep an eye on you at school but there will always be someone patrolling. We'll know if she comes back," he reassured.

I nodded but otherwise was frozen.

"Jared and Jake, you two patrol till 2. Paul will take over from Jared and I'll do the night shift with Embry." There were several grunts resounding in the kitchen I wasn't entirely sure who they came for. _Shit just got real._

Everyone was silent until Emily declared her eggs where ready. The buzz started again but I couldn't bring myself to move from my spot. This couldn't be happening. I wasn't Edwards mate, he left me. Mates don't just leave, but he had left me and now all these people were dying because of me.

Victoria was after me.

The pack was going to take care of it, she wouldn't get to me.

"Bella?" Sam's voice called me but it was distant.

"Bella?" Jake tried to get my attention but I couldn't look at them. It was entirely my fault. They were risking their lives to save me for Victoria. I was putting Emily's fiancé at risk because my choice of staying with the Cullens. Sam was a protector as Jake had put it a year ago. He had his family, people who depended on him, he had to guide the boys huddled round the table scoffing their faces with eggs. His life was precious, but what about me?

I was nobody.

I didn't have a family who depended on me, no one who would be lost if I died at the hands of Victoria. I could end this, just walk out into the forest and wander round. Sam would be safe, Jake would be safe, and Charlie would be safe. Everyone could return to their lives without a scratch. Everyone would be safe. They may miss me a little but no one I loved would be hurt. No one's son, brother or father would have to die. It made perfect sense to me. Just give myself over to her and it would all be over.

"Swan!" he a growl. My head immediately jerked up, my eyes locked onto the hazel ones belonging to the man leaning against the counter. "Sam asked you a question. Answer it the fuck now!" he sneered.

I looked to the older man in the room "I'm sorry."

"It's okay Bella. Jake thinks you should spend as much time as you can on the res. After school, on the weekends all you spare time here. It'll be easier to protect you, if you're on the res. You don't have to of course, it just a suggestion."

"No, if it makes your lives easier. I'll stay in La Push as much as I can" my eyes flickered over to Paul and then down at my feet. I didn't want to stay here anymore; I wanted out of this little room with all these men whose lives I had ruined. I grabbed at my chest, struggling to breathe. This wasn't supposed to happen, I had made a choice in my stupid little meaningless life to be with the Cullens but now I had put everyone in danger.

I kept eyeing my truck sitting just outside in view. It was calling to me offering me an escape, but I couldn't just leave. "Come on Bella, I'll take you home," Jake chimed, suspecting he had seen me glance over at my truck more than a few times in the past minute.

"No, it's okay, I can drive home myself" I countered but secretly thanking him for a route out of this suffocating house. I pushed off the wall and straightened myself up, "Thanks for the pancakes Emily, they're really good" I said politely.

She nodded at me with half a smile on her marred face, "Don't be a stranger Bella; any friend of Jake's is a friend of ours. No matter what other people may think" she said while smacking Paul's chest with the back of her hand. Sam quickly pulled her away and kissed the top of her head, in an effort to calm her down.

Jake stood up and led me out to my truck; "drive safe" was all he said before he ran past me and straight into the forest.

Sighing I opened the driver's door but there it was again, that same pull I was feeling earlier. I turned towards the house to see if someone was watching me, but I couldn't see anyone. So I climbed into my truck and drove my danger magnet ass home.

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**Please review and see you next week**

**There is a lemon coming up soon and it's a necessary part of the plot.**


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

**Saturday update - Thanks for the reviews**

**this chapter was originally 5 thousand words so I split it into two.**

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As soon as Bella's death machine had peeled out the drive, Sam put his mug down and pushed off the counter rather violently; no doubt leaving dents or at least splinters on the top. He stalked towards me with sure, firm steps. He meant business and everyone in that kitchen knew. Even I knew it and I wasn't even facing him. I was looking out the window watching the truck merged into traffic instead, I knew what was coming next and I wasn't prepared to face it just yet. Sam smacked his hand on my shoulder and spun me brutally towards him.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at?" Sam shouted at me. Emily was immediately by his side running a comforting hand up and down his arm trying to calm him down.

"I'm not playing at anything" I growled at my alpha.

"Oh is that so? You think pushing Bella around is acceptable?" he said more evenly than I expected.

"Well I wouldn't have done it if she didn't need it" I retorted with a smirk and crossed my arms over my chest. _It's true_. When I had pushed her for answers I hadn't felt the same pain I had when I called her leech lover. She didn't need molly coddling like black had been doing. She didn't need to be smothered like some toddler. And she definitely didn't need to be enveloped in bubble wrap just like Jake had been doing, since that leech had left. She wasn't some breakable china doll. She was imprinted to me; no way I would have been paired with some delicate flowered who's petals broke off from the slightest gust of wind. They would never last against my temper.

"No. you will not make this about the imprint Paul. You will never treat any girl like that in this house, ever!" he instructed.

Several "what's," "imprint's" and "Paul's" resounded throughout the kitchen. But by far the most furious and loud were the words coming from the tiny woman in front of me. I flinched away from her voice. _She was mad._ It was funny, really, how afraid we were of her. Emily was a force to be reckoned with and arguably the most powerful human in that room. Em was the alphas imprint for fuck sake and I was in for a major ear bending. _Shit._

And what I said next wasn't about to help my case, "I'll treat Bella the way I see fit; you can't do anything about it" I challenged, he didn't have the right.

"You imprinted on Bella?" Em asked and I nodded my head looking straight into her confused eyes.

"And you treated her like that" she spat disgusted. "How could you Paul, she's your imprint" she yelled smacking me on the forehead. I growled in warning.

"Watch it!" Sam cautioned with his own growl. I narrowed my eyes at him and pushed past them. Sam's arm shot out to steady a very angry Emily.

"You can't tell me how to treat my own imprint." I pointed out.

I could feel the entire room's eyes on me and it was getting a bit annoying.

"Paul, that's no-" I cut Jared off.

"I never wanted to imprint and I certainly don't want to be imprinted to that leech lover" I said despite the intense crushing pain in my chest. "Jake can have her, I don't want her" I snarled.

"You can just hand her off like some piece of rubbish" she reasoned. I just stood there staring her down, she wasn't about to convince me to accept the imprint.

"The spirits choose her for you for a reason, Paul. She should be cherished not pushed around like that. Imprinting's rare and should be prized, if not for yourself then for this tribe." Emily spoke as if she was talking to a petulant child.

"I'm not accepting Bella just for her child bearing abilities and if I find out Bella knows about imprinting someone's gonna lose their balls" were my final words before I stormed out the house and straight into the forest. I didn't even bother stripping before I phased. It didn't take much focus for me to unleash my wolf; he had been clawing at the surface ever since I had stepped into the kitchen.

_**You stupid selfish, bastard**_my wolf growled at me as soon as the last tremor subsided.

_Whatever, _I laughed. My feet pounded furiously on the ground in the direction of my house. All I wanted to focus on was the green and brown blurs traveling past my eyes but I wasn't fortunate enough. Her image played in my head over and over again. Her brows pulled together, her sweet little lips and those deep eyes. _No! Stop! Jake's._

_**She's ours, not his. But he still had his filthy hands all over her. **_He tried to rile me up and it was working, but not for the reasons he wanted me worked up. He was making me angry, he shouldn't be so involved and so soon. I could tell it would take a lot to pacify my wolf if he needed his imprint.

_Put your big boy pants on and simmer down, _I ordered.

_**She's ours. **_He growled again_**. **_

_Yeah yeah,_I brushed it off_**. **_I was approaching the tree line just shy of my back yard and suddenly I felt the exhaustion of the whole day weight down on my shoulders. I was dying for a shower and my bed.

_**We should be the one holding her, we should be the one feeding her and we should be the one keeping her safe from danger. **_He snarled_**.**_

_We aren't supposed to do anything for her_, I roaredbefore phasing out and heading towards my house. I hit the punching bag hanging from a tree as I passed for good measure, and stormed up the porch. Kicking open the door I climbed the stairs two at a time, into my room at the end of the corridor. I traipsed into my bathroom and turned the thermostat on the shower roughly to the hottest it would go. Even at that setting the water was freezing. _Another perk of phasing, _I thought_._

There was no need to undress, I was already naked. I climbed into the tub and soaped my sponge with body wash, the bottle made a satisfying squelching sound. I furiously scrubbed the dirt off my skin, like it had offended my mother. Stepping under the spray I lathered my hair with shampoo and indignantly ran my fingers through the cropped mess. I think I may have pulled some hairs in the process, but who the fuck cared. I stood under the water for a few moments more, then I ripped the shower curtain open and jumped out the tub. My arm shot out and grabbed the towel hanging on a hook on the back of the door. I wrapped it half-heartedly around my hips, making my way into my bedroom, I wrenched open the chest of drawers by the door. Slipping on clean cut-offs I threw myself down onto my bed. _Finally._

I closed my eyes expecting to see tranquil black but what I saw was that little girl in my head. I snapped my eyes open and ran my hands down my face and hit my head twice with the palm of my hand. _What was wrong with me?_

I closed my eyes again, but I was graced by the chocolate brown orbs of Bella swam. _Great_. I picked my head up and threw it back down onto my pillow, trying to thrash the picture out of my head. It wasn't working. Her image had permanently burnt itself onto the inside of my eyelids, it was infuriating. I growled and none to gracefully turned on to my stomach and buried my face in the pillow. There in the fabric was the faint smell of cherries. _That's exactly what I need._ But my wolf jostled. _To fuck with him._

I lifted my head from the pillow and scanned the room for my phone; there atop of my bedside table, it lay connected to a lead. I reached over and disconnected it from the charger and flipped it open. A small message dropped down on the screen flashing a name. I smirked and pressed the call button.

"Hi." Came a familiar voice from the other side.

"10 minutes" I instructed and hung up.

I made my way down the stairs at a more leisurely pace than I had adopted running up them. I walked into the kitchen and closed the door I had kicked open in blind rage and snapped the lock. Locking the door guaranteed no interruptions. Interruption weren't what I needed right now. I scanned the bottom floor with my eyes judging if I should tidy a little, but it was all in order. How could it not be? I lived alone; I never used this house for anything other than sleeping and showering, usually.

I stepped towards the doorway leading onto the front room and leant against the frame, in view of the door. I crossed my arms over my bear chest and listened carefully for the distinct purr of the engine but it wasn't there. _There's still time. _

Lo and behold, a few moments later, a car was being parked in front of my house. I took in an unsteady breath. I heard footsteps getting closer and closer. The knob twisted and I watch as the door was pushed open.

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**Please review and don't hate me too much**

**I have half a mind to stop here and not post the 2 other chapters I have left from my prewritten stack. It's a good place to stop I think because the last chapter I've written isn't a very good place to stop.**

**If this is my last post you won't get any updates until after my clinical placement has finished. This would be roughly around about the end of June.**

**Please review and tell me what you think about the chapter and if I should stop here?**

**If this is my last post – be safe, be happy and I'll see you in June **


	8. Chapter 7 (L)

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight **

**My best friend, literally, slap some sense into me. It was extremely cruel of me to leave the story hanging. So…..**

**This is the last chapter I will be posting for a wee while – enjoy!**

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The fuck hot silhouette of a girl stood in the door way but she was slightly blurred. I shook my head to clear it. _Please Please Please, _I pleaded,_ this can't be happening_. I opened my eyes and to my relief I could see that she was trailing her eyes from my feet to my face, pupils dilated to twice their usual size. Her emerald green eyes locked onto mine and a pink blush crept down her face then neck and disappeared behind her red floral dress. I didn't need to see how far it went, I knew and I was dying to get my hands on her tight little body. _**You want Bella not her,**_ my wolf tried to convince me.

Her flats made a thudding noise as she toed them off and kicked them behind the closed door. Her eyes locked onto mine again as she pulled me lower lip between her teeth, my dick twitched. She had no idea what the shit did to me. She let out a shaky breath and ran towards me and into my waiting arms. Her legs wrapped round my waist and her arms secured themselves around my neck. One of my hands had immediately snaked around her waist to press her to me and the other cupped her ass; hoisting her up further. I pressed my lips to her soft and supple full ones, her legs tightened around my waist. She let out a soft moan which vibrated against my lips.

She pulled back and rested her forehead against mine; she racked her nails on my scalp making me sigh with content. _So fucking nice_. I opened my eyes to look at her freckled nose and beautiful eyes but was met by her long brown lashes caressing her rosy cheeks instead.

"Hey" she said breathlessly against my lips. I could hear her heart beat fast and hard alongside mine.

"Hi," I laughed, smiling at her obvious lack of restraint. I turned and rested her up against the frame of the kitchen door, allowing my hands to roam free. I started at her wrists and ran my hands to her shoulders; then down her side, brushing my thumb lightly against the sides of her breasts. I kissed her lightly on the corner of her mouth and ghosted to her jaw. I nipped and licked down her jaw to her neck where her scent of cherries was most poignant. She sighed and wiggled in my arms searching for some sort of friction, which I gladly gave her. I traced her waist with my fingers and gathered the dress around her slim hips. I pushed her dress further up her creamy thighs and thrust my clothed crotch up into her heat. _She was already wet. __**She's not the one who should be wet for us.**_

She let out an uneven little groan and again bit her bottom lip. I kept up a slow steady rhythm of thrusting as she manoeuvred to kiss my hair and trailed pecks down the side of my head, along my temple, kissed my right eye and then made a small path to my ear.

"Please" she begged trembling, as she licked the shell of my ear and sucked my lobe between her teeth. I grunted at her plea and pushed us off the door and headed for the stairs.

Capturing her lips again, I sucked her lip into my teeth and bit down ever so gently; enough to make her gasp from surprise. Her lips parted enough for my tongue to slip through. Her hot mouth tasted faintly of my body wash making my cock grow even harder. Her tongue tried to fight for dominance against mine but to no avail. I would always win, today wasn't any different. I bounded up the stairs with her pressed tightly against my chest and kicked opened my bedroom door.

She squirmed in my constrictive embrace, signalling she wanted down and made a huffing sound when I didn't comply. _So fucking adorable. _Crossing her arms, she lent backwards to glare at me with narrowed eyes.

"What," I asked against her pouted lips.

"I want to," she said running her dainty finger down my stomach towards the place we were joined at the hips. My eyes never left her face as hers followed the path of her finger.

"You want to what?" I teased, quirking my eyebrow at her silent request. Her fingers stopped drawing circles around the button of my cut-offs. The long legs that were hitched and locked around my waist slackened and dropped towards the floor. But because I was taller and still had a tight hold of her hips, her feet couldn't touch the ground. No matter how much she struggled.

She looked up at me through her lashes and whispered, "I want to suck your dick." I smirked, who was I to refuse her? _**You have an imprint; no one should be sucking anything of ours other than Bella.**_

I put her down and let her lead me further into the room. She backed me up until the back of my knees hit the bed; she pushed me down on top of it. Lifting the hem of the dress, I hooked my fingers into the sides of her white lace panties. I was hit with the scent of her arousal as the panties hit the floor. I closed my eyes and focused on the concentrated perfume of cherries and took in a deep breath. _So fucking delicious. _I pulled her in between my legs and nuzzled her stomach as she worked on getting the dress off. As soon as I heard the zipper stop I pulled her dress of her shoulders and let it fall to the ground. I pulled her down to straddle my lap.

I pushed the strap of her bra, kissing the skin as it was exposed. She moaned into my ear, as I did the same to the other side. I worked my way back up her neck to capture her lips once more. She reached in between us and worked on getting my cut-off's unbuttoned as I manoeuvred our bodies further up the bed. She sat upright and unclipped her bra properly and dropped it to the floor next to my bed. While she was doing this I trailed open mouthed kisses from her belly button up towards her full breasts. She groaned as I swiped my tongue over her dark peak and sucked it into my mouth. She ground her core into my groin making me even harder.

She placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back onto the bed. There was a loud popping sound as my suction on her nipple broke. She leant down to kiss my lips, her loose hair falling around us acting as a curtain. My hands automatically went to grip her waist while the other cradled the back of her head; allowing me to change the angle of her head, deepening the kiss deliciously. She nipped her way to my neck, where she placed open mouthed kisses, occasionally flicking her tongue out to taste me. _So fucking hot_. She kissed down my torso paying extra attention to my sensitive nipples and navel. As soon as she reached the top of the cut-off's she shimmied them down my hips and over my proud erection. Her hot breath was blowing out across my hip.

I watched her closely as she reached her hand out and gave my shaft a confident squeeze before she lowered her hot, wet mouth onto my swollen tip. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I throw my head down onto the pillow, trying so hard not to blow my load right then and there. Her mouth hollowed out, as she sucked my dick further into that hot mouth. She couldn't get my entire length into her mouth so the hand at the base of my shaft pumped in unison with the rhythm of her head.

"Shit…fuck, oh god" was all I could say as she sucked harder and increased her pace. She hummed in approval, causing the vibrations to melt my resolve further. Her pace increased again, making my breathing come out in heavy pants.

"Stop," I hissed through clenched teeth and once again she was straddling me. She had a smug grin on her face as I flipped us around; her hips were cradling me perfectly. I thrust into her, my tip brushed against her swollen clit and her back arched off the bed, squashing her chest into me. I placed my forearms on either side of her head and bent down to kiss the little scar on her temple. She turned her head towards me and kissed me more violently than I had expected her to. Our teeth made clicking noises as they collided again and again. We nipped and bit playfully at one another until she had to breathe again.

"Whoa" she said breathlessly as I pulled back and rested my forehead on hers, taking in her scent greedily. She ran her hand down my back and grabbed my ass, making me buck into her heat.

"Okay, fine" I chuckled "impatient much?" I mocked, leaning over to my bedside table. I grabbed a condom out the top drawer and sat on my hunches between her legs. The position allowed me to see her naked glory clearly. Her hand snaked down in between her breasts and down her flat stomach to the strip of soft curls above her clit. I watched her hand as it rub circles around the sensitive nub and slipped a finger inside her tight little hole. Her lips glistened from the wetness of her heat and I couldn't wait any longer to be inside her. _So fucking sexy._

I leant forward, so the tip of my condom covered cock was teasing her hole; her hand still working on her clit. I pushed her hand away and out my road. Moving forward, I pushed further into her heat and she arched her back of the bed, taking in more of the tip. I groaned at the feeling of her wrapped around my head. I fell forward and kissed her forehead, before I thrust my entire length into her sweet pussy.

"Shit…so fucking good" I moaned as she clenched around my shaft. I hitched her leg over my hip allowing me to sink impossibly deeper inside her; I paused allowing her to adjust to my size.

"Move" she demanded in a low voice, moving her hips up towards mine and I obeyed immediately.

"Oh god" she breathed against my shoulder, fingers digging into my lower back, urging me to go faster and I did. I dropped my forehead into the crook of her neck and kissed her repeatedly on her pulse point.

"So tight" I declared with a moan "…and so fucking warm" I punctuated each word with a sharp thrust of my hips, making her squirm underneath me. She dragged her nails up my back and into my hair; she pulled my head up and captured my lips. Her breathing was becoming increasing uneven and laboured.

She pulled back roughly looking directly into my eyes "so close" she breathed and bit her swollen lip. I increased my pace and a moment later she was falling apart on my dick.

"Paul" she let out I strained moan, her insides fluttered and contracted rhythmically around my entire length. I didn't stop my movements and rolled over, so she was now on top. Bracing her hands against my stomach she pushed down onto me, right the way through her orgasm. Grabbing her hips I lifted her slightly off my cock and thrust into her dripping core.

She threw her head back and chanted "don't stop, don't stop," over and over until she was coming around me again. A thin layer of sheen covered both our bodies and I lowered her back down onto me. This time I let her set the pace.

She clawed at my chest as she bounced up and down on my cock. I crossed my hands behind my head and enjoyed the view of her breasts bouncing in front of me. I could feel the familiar tightening in my balls as I leant up and sucked her nipple into my mouth again. My arms tightened around her waist pulling her to me. She cradled my head to her breast and placed a single kiss to the crown of my head.

"So hard" she whispered into my hair "so big" she breathed. I released her nipple with a pop and kissed my way up to her neck. My hand travelled up her back and hooked onto her shoulder. I pulled her down hard and thrust up even harder. A moan slipped through her parted lips and the tightening in my balls grew unbearable painful. I thrust up into her frantically searching for relief. I ghosted my fingers down to her clit and pinched roughly.

"Oh god" she moaned, gripping me even tighter. Her quivering started again, I kept up a fast pace. She trembled in my arms arched her back and came again.

"Beh…" I growled into her neck. _**Bella. **__fuck that shit. _I growled at my wolf.

I roared and shot my seed with one final thrust.

_**This shouldn't have happened, she's not our mate** _my stated wolf growled.

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**My first lemon – how did I do?**

**Review please it will really help with future lemon writing **

**Be safe, be happy**


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight **

**I've been waiting soo long for this FF to reach 60 reviews!**

**Here's another chapter**

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**(BPOV)**

Weeks had passed since the shifter discovery and I was spending most of my time in La Push. Usually helping Jake fix the rabbit; by helping I mean lying on the rabbit's seat watching him sweat over his pride and joy. We'd spend most of our time talking about school or cars or the pack and it really felt like the hole in my chest was beginning to fill. Sometimes Embry would come down and help Jake with his project if he wasn't on patrol and on the odd occasion Paul would join him. Embry was great, shy but equally playful. Paul on the other hand was…_Paul_, I guess.

**Flashback**

I was sitting, in the garage, on the work bench cleaning the engine block when I heard a loud banging noise followed by a muffled ow! Snapping my head round to the source I saw Embry bent over clutching at his stomach struggling to breathe with tears rolling down his face. But that wasn't the only thing I saw. Jake's legs were sticking out the gaping hole where the engine belonged. His legs kicking violently and he was screaming obscene curses at Embry as he managed to claw himself out of the hole backwards.

"Why you little asshole!" he vented and grasped at Em, his face red from all the blood that had run down his body. Embry dodged Jake's feebly attempt at trying to grab a hold of him. He skipped over to me and plonked himself on the bench. I scoffed at him, shaking my head. _I thought werewolves were supposed to be graceful._

"Bad form Jake, bad form" he teased ruffling my hair.

"Oh shut it!" Jake growled at him from under his rabbit.

"I expected more from the future chief" Embry exclaimed feigning disappointed. "Isn't that right bells?"

"Sure, sure" I laughed at the childishness and shifted uncomfortably, not looking up from the engine block. _What the fuck was buzzing?_

"Well if you hadn't have deceived your best friend into thinking you were harmless. Maybe he would've been more alert, isn't that right _Bells_?" the husky voice rang out through the garage. I abandoned my cleaning to look at Paul leaning over the rabbit handing Jake a long piece of wire.

I didn't answer him, didn't want to. He was a horrible person. He was always picking on me, making me feel useless and stupid. But because I didn't answer, his head raised towards me with a smirk plastered on his face. _Not answering_.

"Hmmm?" he encouraged with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"Whatever" Embry rumbled "let's get something to eat, I'm starving" Em declared pulling me out the garage towards Billy's kitchen.

"So Bella, what you ben doing lately?" he asked pushing me gently into the in the kitchen.

"Helping Jake clean out his engine, before you so rudely interrupted" I huff to his back as he started to get out the ingredients needed for sandwiches, I presumed. The boy loved his sandwiches.

"Yeah, saw that" he chuckled "how's school treating you?" trying very hard not to make too much of a mess.

"It's fine. Its school Em what do you expect? You go to school; you should know what schools like" I didn't want to talk to Embry about school. At the moment school was horrendous. Ever since the Cullens left, school had gone for okay to intolerable. The subjects were fine, not too much hassle. But the people where on a whole other level of intolerable. For the most part they were lovely people but now and again you would get the odd one who never let the fact that the Cullens left me die off. It was for every going to hang above my head like some dull, grey cloud that was pissing on me constantly.

"Yeah I know what you mean, schools a bitch! I can't wait to graduate though. Sam keeps pestering us to stay on top of our work. But it's hard you, know with patrols and all and Vitoria isn't letting up either" he hissed the last part. "Plus my mother thinks I'm got in with the wrong crowd" Em said rather dejectedly.

"You're a protector" I reasoned "the epitome of a good person, everything about you is pure" I whispered like it was some sort of secret. _Well it was, technically_.

Shuffling into the seat opposite me, on the other side of the island, "yeah, I know that. You know that. But Bells, my mother doesn't know that." Embry sighed passing me my own sandwich.

"You haven't told her?"

"Nope" he mumbled

"Why?" I asked stupidly. _Personal Bella! Personal _"you don't have to answer that" I brushed the inappropriate question off the table; metaphorically and physically with a wave of my hand over the counter.

"No, it's fine" he reassured. "I don't want to hurt her. She's looked after me all by herself, you know. I never knew my dad…" he took in a deep breath.

"She told me he was a Makah. But I know he's not" pausing to collect himself.

"Doesn't the wolf gene only-" I thought out loud.

"Yeah" he said with a great big smile "Wow Bella, Jake's right. You are a smart little cookie" reaching over the counter and ruffling my hair like I was some 2 year old that had just successfully named the colour of her shirt.

Moving out of his reach, "I'm not little," I ground out. The word made my insides twist.

"Sure, sure" he laughed "So, because my mother is Makah and the wolf gene only runs within the Quileute tribe. Meaning my father must be part of this tribe, part of the elder line."

"The elder line?" I didn't know what that meant.

"Yup, the elder line. You know we have a chief and elders who sit on the tribes' council" he looked up at me so I could confirm that I knew. And I gladly did, I knew Billy was chief.

"The elders are descendants of the first Quileute's. Blacks, Ateras, Uleys and the Clearwaters, are all sources of the wolf gene. My father, theoretically, is from one of these lines" he told me.

"I didn't want to hurt my mom by telling her I knew she had been lying to me for my whole life. I won't be able to live with myself knowing my mother is living with the guilt of me discovering her lies. I love my mother too much, she's my entire world. I can't hurt her." his breath coming out unevenly. And he rocked subtly back and forth on his seat.

"I'm sorry" I whispered _this was all my fault, Em wouldn't be in this situation if I hadn't been with the Cullens._

"It's fine, phasing is the best thing tha-" the kitchen door was pushed open rather violently.

"That for me?" Paul questioned pointing at my untouched sandwich. But before I could reply, he had thrown himself down onto the chair next to me. "Thanks Bella. You didn't have to" he said pulling the plate in front of him and literally inhaling the sandwich in 10 seconds.

"I didn't" I said getting up from my chair and storming out to Jake. _I was actually going to eat it._ Something I hadn't been doing much of lately.

**End of flashback**

But today I was going to Emily's to help her with cooking for the pack. Jake had told me they were having a bonfire down at the beach.

It was noon and all my classes for the day had finished meaning I could go down to the res and actually do something useful, something I was good at and knew all about. Working with Jacob was great but I would get lost when Jake got too excited about something I just couldn't fit my head round.

When I walk out to the truck, I was surprised to see Paul leaning against it. He was all sweaty and half naked.

"What do you want?" I spat from the top of the steps, knowing he could hear me perfectly fine.

"I _want_ to be sleeping, but I have to escort you skinny ass down to Emily's" he uncrossed his arms, releasing the tension in his biceps.

"I think I'm quite capable of driving myself to Emily's without supervision" I was now standing a few metres away. I raised my eyebrow at the man-child silently communicating for him to get out my way.

Pushing himself off the truck "please little girl, you can't even walk down stairs without face planting" his voice grated on my nerve.

"Get out my way" I ground out my previously silent request. _Stupid wolf._

"Gladly" he hissed walking around to the passenger side.

The drive down to La Push was longer than I remember it used to be. But maybe that was due to the edgy atmosphere in the cab. Paul kept fidgeting and mumbling, once he even growled. But I ignored the idiot. I didn't even acknowledge his presence when he asked me how I was doing. _He didn't deserve any effort._

"Jesus Bella, get off your high horse and answer the damn question" he growled at me.

_Nothing_

"Fine, I'll answer for you since you're clearly not capable" he started "Paul I'm not doing so great, can't you see I'm all skin and bones. I don't even look like a girl anymore. And it's been days since I've even run a brush through my hair" he put on this disgusting valley girl accent.

I checked my mirror to see a vacant highway 101 behind me. I slammed the breaks on the truck and the momentum sent my body hurtling forward to the steering wheel. Thank fuck for my seat belt, I just missed out on getting my face smashed in.

"Fuck Swan!" my head snapped to the wolf in the cap that hadn't even moved an inch.

"Get out" I hissed through clenched teeth.

"What?" he asked surprised. _What? You thought you could get away with pulling shit like that on me big boy. Think again._

"I said get the fuck out my truck now," growling slightly this time.

"But I ha-"

"What part of 'now' can't you get through your thick skull" I stated calmly.

He didn't say anything else just opened the door and got out. _Finally._

I pulled into the drive of the house, all the pack was in the back yard except Jacob and Paul. _Guess Jake was patrolling._

"Oh thank god you're here!" Emily shouted with relief pulling me into a bear hug, I doubt she even knew she was loud. The woman was deceptively strong.

"Need some help?" it was pretty much a rhetorical question but she answered anyway.

"You have no idea. It's hard trying to cook for these boys and trying to keep them from eating it before its time, it's impossible" she said in one big breath. "I had to send Paul to get you _just _to keep him out of my stew. And it wasn't even cooked yet!" she squealed the last part pushing me over to the island in the kitchen. On it was loaf after loaf of bread and a whole selection of sandwich fillings.

"Em, are you sure we're only feeding the pack and not a small army?" I asked concerned the boys had finally driven her to insanity.

"Hello Bella," came the deep voice of Sam. "Glad you could make, Emily was about to have an aneurism trying to do so many things at once." He floated over to Em and gave her forehead a little kiss "don't work so hard, honey" he whispered and left with a cup of coffee.

And so it began. I made mountain after mountain of sandwiches, brownies and pasta salad. And what felt like a few hundred years later I collapsed onto the sofa in the front room.

I soon as I closed my eyes I could feel someone hovering around the sofa. "I'm sorry Bella but could you run out to Paul's truck and get the cooler full of hot dogs please." She asked. "I wouldn't ask you if the boys were around but I can't see them anywhere" her face apologetic.

"No, it's fine I'll do it right away." I peeled my protesting body off the comfortable couch and made my way done the porch to the handful of parked trucks. But there was one problem. I didn't have a clue which one was Paul's.

"Hey, Emily!" I called inside "which one is Paul's?"

"The black one" came a voice but it wasn't the sweet voice I was expecting.

Right, of course it was. _Just like his heart._

I made my way over to the truck and opened the door but he caught my hand before I could touch the cooler.

"I'll do it" Paul told me.

"I got it." I reprimanded

"Bella, I'll do it. Besides you've been working all day and the cooler is quite heavy."

"No, Emily told me to get it. So I'll get it." I looked to his hazel eyes and gave the best glare I could muster with the little energy I had.

"Suit yourself" he smirked down at me.

I pushed his hand away from the cooler and proceeded to pick it up. And Christ it _was _heavy but I wasn't about to let that stop me. I kicked the door closed with my foot and made the rest of the journey up the porch and into the kitchen without too much difficulty; And surprisingly without falling.

I put the cooler on the island next to the never ending cellophaned trays of sandwiches.

"Thanks Bella. Paul, do you know if Sam's warmed the barbeque?" she enquired stirring the stew and adding a few more spices to the heavenly smelling pot.

"Yeah, but he's down at the beach getting the bonfire started. Do you want me to start on the hot dogs?"

"That would be great." She sounded relieved "I don't think poor Bella would be able to stand any longer." She walked over to me with a plate with some finished stew and a biscuit. "You should go lay down for a while, you've been a great help, I wouldn't have done all this without you." She waved her hand over the sandwiches and pasta salad bowls. The stew was done and the last batches of biscuits were in the oven. The brownies I had made were cooling on the window sill.

"No problem Emily, anything to help." I rubbed my eyes finally letting myself feel tried. I took the plate form her hand and wandered over to the couch. I placed the plate onto the coffee table and sunk into the cushions on the loveseat. I finally closed my eyes.

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**The more you review to more I change my mind about posting another chapter! **

**Please review**

**BSBH! **


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

**Guest123 - Thank you for reviewing. I know right, I'm literally dead after my 3****rd**** 12 hour shift in a row. Btw I'm studying BSc Nursing with honours. It's pretty hardcore! Especially because I'm nearing the end of 2****nd**** year I've just had exams and I still have a few assignments still to do. Not to mention placement. And yes I need to do assignments and presentations too during placement. (I got a 93% in the practical exam I did on Monday) so taking a break from writing this FF was a wise choice. **

**This is the last chapter from my prewritten stack – enjoy!**

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**(PPOV)**

I wanted her to talk to me and the only way I knew how was to poke her until she cracked. That's what I did.

Bella looked sickly thin walking down her school steps and I swear she even swayed a little when she stood in front of me. My wolf was clawing within my skin for just one touch. _**Just one.**_ I had tried to keep him stated by spending as much time as I could around her but even then he wasn't satisfied. He craved her attention; he wanted us to be constantly touching her like Embry had been doing. The idiot didn't even know how lucky he was to still be alive. I didn't mind Jake being around her but Embry was a whole different story. I hadn't given him permission touch her, but there he was doing it anyway.

I wanted to know how she was doing so I asked her like anyone would ask. But no, she wouldn't fucking answer me, actually made it a point to ignore me. _That shit hurt._ So I answered for her. I tried to make my response as annoying as possible even put on a dumb, fake accent. But to get her attention and compel her to at least recognise my presence, it seemed necessary. What I didn't expect her to do was slam the breaks on her truck and nearly kill herself on the steering wheel.

"Get out" her head snapped around to me, hair whipping across my face. I was assaulted by her scent. I poked fun at her before but never had she taken on such an aggressive tone to my actions. _Little girl had some balls. _

I was surprised to say the least. But I didn't actually expect what would come out her filthy little mouth next. "I said get the fuck out my truck now" her eyes blazing with fire.

Now those were the qualities of _my _imprint.

Something stirred in my pants. And right about now my wolf was rattling the cage. I could smell her defiance and all my wolf wanted to do was make her submit to us. But she was having none of it. So I jumped out the truck and ran towards the wood. I needed to get my head straight. But fuck me if that was too much to ask. Jake was on patrol. _Great._

'_What did you do now?' the pup echoed in my head. _I didn't answer him, didn't think I could. So I just showed him.

All he said back was '_yeah, she hasn't been eating all that much lately.'_

What?! '_that's all you got from this whole encounter?'_ I was all confused about her outburst and here he was brushing it off like it was natural for Bella to bust someone's balls.

'_It is natural' _he laughed. '_Bella's always been like that. She might look like a sheet of rice paper. But actually she's a block of reinforced steel.' _I could feel his wolf grinning in my head.

'_And how don't I know this?' _I was beginning to get a headache, all thanks to my wolf. _**Ours, of course she's strong. You moron.**_

'_You never gave enough time to really get to know her Paul. Besides that leech did a number on her. She's not been herself lately. Always undermining herself, always apologising.' _He growled. '_And you haven't been letting up on you quest to fight the imprint either.' _He spat at me. '_How's that going? Have you got it out your system yet or do you still think you can fuck the bond away?_' he laughed.

'_Shit isn't funny Jake' _not amused.

He flashed an image of her curled up on the seat of the rabbit sleeping. _'she doesn't do much sleeping, either' _he sounded sullen _'she feels it you know.' _He sighed. 'The imprint.'

I didn't know what to say to that, I just kept running.

'_She says she can't sleep at home, only on the res' _he informed me _'says she doesn't _feel right. _I told her she was being ridiculous. But we know why she doesn't feel right, don't we.' _

'_She's yours; you should know what the fuck is wrong with her messed up sleeping pattern' _I interjected.

'_You do know I don't feel anything for her anymore, besides the need to protect her. And Paul I've been busting my ass trying to keep her for all her demons. And never would I have imagined that I would be protecting her from her imprint. Even if I wanted to Paul, I can't be any more than friends; I don't feel the need to be anymore.' _

'_What?' _well this was a revelation.

'_I don't love her like that anymore.' _He said with sincerity in his voice.

'I'll see you later.' And I phased out. Slide my cut-off's on and wandered into Emily back yard. The pack was playing soccer and Bella and Emily were cooking up a storm in the kitchen, no doubt.

"Hey Paul, wanna play?" Jared jogged up to me and threw me the ball.

"Not just now" and I threw the ball right back at him.

I walked over to the swing on the porch and sat down. From here I had a clear view of Bella working on the sandwiches in the kitchen. So I sat, I watched and I thought.

I thought of all the things that led me to this point. It was because I didn't want to be tied to one person for the rest of my life. But it was going to happen anyway, what better way than be tied to the one person in this entire universe made especially for me? Was that really bad? I thought back to all the girls I had been with ever since I had imprinted. I thought how fucking them didn't bring me any happiness, how it didn't feel right like it used to. I let my eyes roam over Bella, and I honestly felt like I got more joy out of watching her from a distance than I ever got from screwing the hottest girl in La Push. _**We don't want anyone else**_ my wolf sounded dejected. And all the time I was fighting, Bella was suffering because of my stubborn ass. I was unknowingly hurting the one thing in the world I was supposed to protect. The constrictive belt around my chest suddenly tightened to 15 notches. I was the worst imprinter ever.

Sam lived with the scars he caused Emily right in front of his face. He was constantly reminded that he should control his wolf, but what about me? I had inflicted pain to Bella's heart; the place where I could get to. I couldn't heal them directly. But I sure as hell would try. _I've gotta try._

The biggest reason for not accepting the imprint was Jacob Black. But he had just told me that he no longer felt romantic feelings for the girl. So what exactly was stopping me?

_**You**_

Nothing was stopping me, nothing at all. The only reason to not accept the imprint now would be because of me. But why would I not want her? I looked back at her pretty little sweetheart face. She was absolutely beautiful but still I couldn't accept her. I thought for a little while longer. Pondered the reasons for not accepting the imprint and what was holding me back now, until in dawned on me. I was afraid of rejection. I had pushed her so far that I was afraid she would push _me _away. I was scared she would deny me any sort of relationship, terrified I would lose her. _I can't lose her_. She was literally my entire universe; I'm only living for her. But still I treated her like dirt, thought she was never good enough for me. _Great going Paul._ I had to make sure she wouldn't push me away. But I didn't know where to start. I had to talk to someone; maybe Jake or Sam.

"Paul! We're going down to the beach, you coming?" Embry yelled from the other side of the yard.

"Yeah, give me a second" I called back. I turned back to look into the kitchen and I saw Bella struggling to balance the trays of sandwiches she had made. _Maybe I should go help her?_ No, she wouldn't really want me near her since what had happened in the truck. Why the hell did I have to be a jackass all the damn time? I looked round the yard until my eyes landed on my alpha. He was standing in front of the barbeque lighting it up.

"Sam, can I talk to you?" I approached him slowly trying not to make any sudden movements. He had this look I'm his eyes like I had grown two fucking heads. "What?" I asked be he just shook his head with the dumbest expression on his face.

"Sure, just let me get this warmed up and then I'm all yours" he said waving his hand over the coals. I watched him light the newspaper and waited until he was satisfied the coals wouldn't go out. He motioned for us to walk in the direction of the beach. Guess it was time to get the bonfire set up, it was getting late.

"What is it?" he asked

"It's about Bella" I started "today Jake told me he didn't have any feelings for Bella, as more than I friend." I kept walking with my eyes on the ground.

"Yes, and?" Sam encouraged.

"Well I guess there's nothing holding me back from accepting Bella as my imprint." I continued.

"Uh-huh, and the problem is?"

"The problem's me" I growled up at the sky.

"Well you can say that again" he mumbled. My head snapped to me alpha and I snarled at him "Whoa there big guy." He raised his hands in surrender.

"What exactly is the matter?" he tried to understand the problem but I just couldn't find the right words. What was I supposed to say to him? You know how I've been I dick to her recently and how I've screwed every single girl on the res. well I think Bella's never going to accept me. And hell once she knows I tried fighting the imprint. I don't think she's ever going to let me see her ever again. What the fuck do I do?

"I'm scared she's going to reject me" I whispered.

"I'm not gonna lie to you. She might reject you, but we're not gonna let that happen. All you have to do is get to know her. Let her get to know you. The _real_ you Paul and not the bellend everyone thinks you to be. Give it time and be kind. That's all you can do, don't force it. Just let it happen." Was all he said before he ran off towards the guys, who were starting to collect drift wood for the bonfire.

It was easy really. Just let I happen. Because it would happen, we were meant to be. I joined the guys and we started laying down logs systematically; First for the actual bonfire and then for the seats. But the timber for the seats we had to get from the forest, so we trekked the forest for the perfect logs. When we finally got everything organised, Sam sent me back to the house to help the girls with bringing out the food.

I took my sweet time and I had never timed anything better in my life than this. As I was walking through the house I heard Bella call for Emily. Em was about to leave her task but I said I'd go see what she needs.

It was simple really; she didn't know which truck was mine. So I told her, but what did she want out my truck. And then I remembered. I had the cooler full of hot dogs. I offered to help her but she refused my help. _Just as stubborn as me_ I smirked at her. And then she touched my hand. Well pushed it out the way, but still there was contact. Electricity shot up my arm and straight to my heart. _There's no way she didn't feel that_. But I was wrong she hadn't felt anything.I followed her into the house watching her closely just in case she injured herself. But she didn't, which was no mean feat for Bella.

I offered to help cook the hot dogs while Bella took a well-deserved nap in front room. She still hadn't eaten the stew Emily gave her but I just put it down to her feeling too tired. Once I had finished cooking half the hot dogs I started loading my truck with the food. And every time I passed the loveseat I would chance a peek at my sleeping imprint. She looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake her when it was time to leave, but I had to.

I crouched down next to her sleeping form and ran my thumb over her cheekbone. But she didn't stir, all she did was sigh and snuggle deeper into the couch. _Adorable. _

"Bella you need to wake up, it's time to go" I whispered in her ear but I guess it wasn't loud enough. So I tried again, but this time I shook her a little.

"Come on, wake up" I said louder and this time she squeezed her eyes shut before she forced them open.

"Time to go to the bonfire" I said pointing at the door.

"Oh, okay" she said before shutting her eyes again and drifting off. _Well I guess she was too tired._

Right well I just had to carry her._**Yes, yes touch her; hold her in our arms**_ my wolf howled with happiness. So that's what I did, well I carried her soft body to my truck. I hopped in trying to keep the ride as smooth as possible. And then I handed her over to her best friend once we were at the beach. I didn't think she would appreciate waking up and finding herself snuggled into me. But I fucking wanted her to. For the briefest amount of time I wasn't in constant pain. And it was nice.

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	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

**I've been working on this chapter since February, writing 10 minutes here and there.**

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**(BPOV)**

Someone jostled me slightly but it wasn't enough to coax me out of my peaceful slumber. I had over worked myself with making food, plus I hadn't eaten at all today. I figured I'd eat while I was at Emily's but because all that food had to be prepared I got a little distracted. I faintly remember Paul telling me we had to leave, but to be honest I couldn't care less.

I could hear a crackling sound be it was so far away it didn't bother me too much. What pissed me off was the wet thing inside my ear. I pushed at it but it wouldn't stop coming back. I furrowed my brows in frustration at this annoying little…whatever it was. Then I heard it. The distinctive rumble of a chuckle and I immediately new who and what it was.

"Ew! Jake, stop it." I said my voice thick with sleep. And then he burst out laughing. I opened my eyes to see his head through back in the air and I got the most attractive view of his nasal passage. I rubbed by eyes and moved so I was sitting upright in his lap.

"Hey there sleepy head" his breath blew onto the back of my neck. I ignored him, yawning I pushed into his hard stomach to throw myself down on the log next to him.

Now that I had wiped the sleep from my eyes I could see that we were at the beach. Now that I was away from Jake suffocating form I could smell the brine sea air. I could feel the wind nipping at my skin. Looking around I could see the pack. Billy was there too with some other older people I hadn't met yet. I saw Emily and another girl standing next to her on the other side of the huge bonfire. _Guess that was the crackling._ But the one thing that stood out the most in this moment was Paul.

He was sitting opposite us on the other side of the flames. The fire reflected the gold flecks in his eyes. Each time a flame flickered his eyes would light up. It was sort of beautiful. _Beautiful, Paul? _I snorted to myself. He was anything but. He was an asswhole, scumbag, prick – he wasn't beautiful! Averting my eyes from Paul I cast my gaze over to the older men at the gathering.

Nudging Jake in the ribs "Who are they?" I asked nodding to the men huddled by Billy.

"They are the elders" Jacob looked at me sideways. _Oh._ "That's Quil's Grandfather, the one next to him is Harry Clearwater. Your dads friend." He said pointing to the grey haired man with his back to me. "And of course you know my dad, the rest…you don't really need to know" I looked at his sceptically but I let it go. If there were elders here then perhaps I was intruding in tribal business and I didn't want to do that.

"Maybe I should leave" I said getting up from my seat and started walking to the lights illuminating the parking zone. Emily's house was only a 10 minute walk away, it'd be fi-.

"Bella where are you going?" Jake grabbed my hand and spun me to face him, he looked majorly confused.

"Erm…home?" it was meant to be a statement but it came out more of a question.

"Why? Are you sick?" I pushed his overheated hand away from my forehead. _Like you can feel my temperature change._

"No…I don't want to intrude" I said in a quiet voice and started walking toward the cars again. I could feel his heat following me.

"Where the hell did you get that idea" he said in a strained voice, suspiciously sounded like he was trying not the laugh. "Don't be ridiculous" but I kept on walking. "Bells stop." We were now under the dim lights of the street lamps. "What's wrong?" he asked completely serious now, he even had that little stress wrinkle across his forehead. He rubbed the tops of my arms comfortingly.

"I don't want to intrude in tribe business" I repeated myself looking at his bare feet.

"Bella, you're not interrupting tribal business. Why would you even thing that?"

"Emily told me this was just a pack thing, I didn't know that the tribes elders would be here." I lifted my shoulder to my ear in a half shrug.

"Honey, the elders are only here because they want to talk with Sam about Quil, nothing major…well when I say nothing major. I mean he's about to phase. They just wanted to tell us to keep an eye on him." He shifted his weight for one foot to the other.

"Phase? But they're gone…" I felt the hole in my heart grow ten times bigger. My entire chest hurt, I couldn't breathe. _They were back?!_

"No no Bella they're not here. Jesus, it's okay. Bella he's not here" Jake had crushed me to his bare chest and held me as I shook with fear. "It's the red head not them, she's the reason he's about to phase" he soothed stroking my hair. _Yeah like that made me feel better. _"It's okay, you're okay" he stroked his hand from the top of my head down my neck to the middle of my back, repetitively. It was constant, it was familiar, it's was what I needed.

"Jake!" a gruff voice shouted towards us but I couldn't see who it was, I wasn't facing him. I had my cheek pressed against Jacobs's chest and I was facing the wrong way. But of course I didn't need to see who it was. I knew. It was him. Jake lifted his face out of my hair and I felt him turn his head towards the voice.

"What?" I sighed from the rumble omitted from Jake's chest as he said the word.

"Foods up" Paul informed.

"Bella" he pushed me slightly away from himself and forced my head upwards with his finger. "Look at me," I did. "You are pack and you are a part of this tribe. Don't ever think you're not part of this family." He said pointing towards where the pack was, I presumed. I couldn't bring myself to look away from his sincere eyes to look where he was pointing. "Now come on. I'm starving!" he whinged.

"Actually, I think I'll head home" I said in a quiet voice.

"Jake!" Paul shouted again.

"Fuck Paul give me a second!" he snapped at Paul. "Bella, do I need to get Emily?" he threatened when I turned towards the house. _Oh…he wouldn't. _

But when I turned back to face him he was all challenging looking. His right hip was jutting out. His hands where planted firmly on his hips. His chest was raised and puffed out. His chin was lifted subtly. His eyes narrowed at me. His eyebrow rose. _Oh…but he would._

"Y- You wouldn't?" I sputtered

"Wouldn't I" he laughed

"What's the hold up?" Paul shouted as he strode between us, planted himself in our little battle. He was looking between Jake and I expectantly, but I wasn't about to answer him.

"Bella thinks she isn't welcome here, thinks she can skip out on us and we wouldn't care" his voice dripped venom at his pack mate. You'd think it was his fault. "She thinks she isn't pack" why was he talking like I wasn't here.

"I'm right here" I pointed out but that only earned me some weird ass looks from both of them. "Right, I'm leaving now…" I turned to walk away from them.

"Emily's gonna whoop your ass" Paul's voice confidently whispered in my ear.

"Doubt it" I said and kept walking.

"You insult her, she'll hurt you. No one's going to save you from her, even I won't be able to save you." _yeah like I wanted any help from the douche._

"I haven't insulted her" _I hadn't, had I?_

"You will if you go home without eating anything" that stopped me dead in my tracks. I hadn't thought about that. I would feel awful if someone did it to me. Leaving without saying anything and especially after not, at least, trying what I had cooked. She'd worked so hard on the stew and I hadn't even tasted it.

"Emily won't 'whoop my ass'" I denied she couldn't hurt anyone and I kept walking.

"Oh Isabella, that's where you're wrong" he jumped in front of me, causing me to crash into him. "One time" he started walking backwards the muscles in his stomach clenched now and again, making my insides flutter. "We were all sitting round the table and there was food covering every inch of the kitchen." _Was he telling me a story, acting like we were best friends? _Who cares at least he wasn't stopping me from getting home.

"And Jared was babbling on and on and on about how awesome Kim was in bed. You know as per usual?"

"Actually I don't" I answered his rhetorical question.

"Well if you were at the beach right now then you would" he grumbled. "Anyhow, he said something like a woman is only good for two things; Sex and cooking. It was a total joke but Emily clobbered him in the back of the head with a frying pan anyway" he burst out laughing; clearly I had missed the joke.

"Sounds like he deserved it" I picked up my pace because I could see my truck now.

"He did, but the moral of the story. Emily is fearless. If she can hit a wolf, she'll have no problem beating you hiney." He smirked down at me stopping in front of my truck. _whatever, time to go home._

I opened the door half way before his heated hand rested on top of mine, stopping me from opening the door anymore, "I'll drive" he offered.

"Nope, I'll drive" I tried opening the door further. Damn werewolf wouldn't let me open it.

"It'll be a lot easier if you just let me drive" his breath wafted across my forehead.

"No" I ground out trying to get the door open but of course it wouldn't. "Fine" I growled at him. I dug out my keys from my pocket and fully intended to drop them on the ground but he caught them. I scuffed my way round to the other side and got in the truck. And then we were pulling out the drive.

But we weren't headed home. Nope, we were going back to the beach. "That's not the way to my house." I informed him rudely.

"When did I say I was taking you home? If I recall correctly I said I would drive. I never mention where to." I whipped my head towards him. He had this smug grin plastered to his face. _Oh you think you're clever. _

He parked the truck in front of Jacob "Hey, Jake!" Paul called to my best friend. He leaning against the lamp post with the same smug look Paul had on his face. "Heads up" the bastard tossed my keys to him. And of course Jake caught them.

"I hate you" I directed that at both of them but they didn't seem to care. "I'm staying right the fuck here."

"Jesus Bella stop being so stubborn" Jacob exclaimed pulling me out the truck. "I promise it's just us, no tribal business. You're not intruding." He said firmly, pointing his finger at me like I was some petulant child.

"Sure sure" pulling me towards the blazing fire.

"Wow, you've been around him too long bells." Paul decided to point out falling in step with us "You should hang out with me some time."

"Nope, you're not fun to be around." I stated matter of factly.

"Trust me Bella I'm just as fun as Jake, if not more." I jerked away for him as he whispered in my ear again. _What was with all the whispering?!_

"Come on Bella I'll introduce you to everyone." I looked at him sceptically. He chuckled at my expression "Yeah yeah, I'll introduce you to the one person you haven't met yet" he corrected ruffling my hair.

Jake ushered me to the other woman I saw standing next to Emily. "Bella this is Kim, Kim this is Bella" he said pushing me slightly forward none to gracefully.

"Hi" I waved at her shyly. "Nice to meet you" I offered her a smile. I still hadn't looked at her but her feet were extremely interesting.

"Likewise" her voice slightly malicious and it didn't pass me. I looked up to see her eyes narrowed to slits. Her lashes brushed the top of her high cheekbones as she looked down on me; her flat hair wisped in the sea breeze. Her skin looked like silk as the fire of the bonfire illuminated and enhanced her gorgeous russet skin.

"Right, well. Let's get you something to eat then, shall we" Emily's sweet voice graced my ears and I nodded following her.

And that's how I found myself in a bit of a pickle. I was sitting squished between Embry and Jake. Embry was telling the story of when they all went cliff diving for the very first time. But I was occupied by the girl sitting opposite me on the other side of the fire. She would glare daggers at me now and again and I couldn't understand how she knew me enough to dislike me. And then I remembered the redhead. Jared was risking his life for a problem I brought upon them. _Right, of course_. I could never get away from her until she got me or the pack got her.

"Hey, have you come close to getting her yet?" I asked no one in particular. And immediately the whole pack snapped their heads toward me.

"You don't need to worry about stuff like that" the alpha spoke authoritively.

"No, I think I do" I said looking straight at Kim, she had this shocked look on her face. Maybe it was my bluntness or the fact I may have ratted her out, but I couldn't care less.

"Erm, Bells…we'll get her, don't worry about it." Jake rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He did it every time he lied.

"Right" I huffed. But let it go.

The buzz returned and everyone went back to their abandoned conversations. And turning to Jake I asked "when are you taking me cliff diving?" hoping he would say soon.

"I'm a bit busy right now…so maybe in a little while" I nodded at his response. I had already been waiting for a little while but I would wait for a little bit longer. A little bit longer.

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**I don't think I like this chapter. It seems pointless, but I know it's not pointless. But it still feels pointless!**

**I have handwritten the next chapter when I should have been revising the thyroid gland for applied science – totally passed that exam with flying colours though, soo happy about it! I just have to locate the story, I think it's somewhere in my revision notes?**

**I would like to reiterate. I will finish this fanfiction. I am only taking a break because of my schedule. This story is planned out until the last chapter. This story will get finished.**

**please review!**

**BSBH!**


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight.**

**(BPOV)**

"Bella come down here, please?" Charlie called from downstairs. I rolled myself out of bed and glanced at my alarm clock beside my bed. The traitorous thing read 6:03 AM. _What did he want to talk to me about so fucking early in the morning?_

Rubbing my eyes I cautiously sauntered down the stairs taking care in not falling. Even though I had been sleeping the whole night without nightmares I still felt like I had only got a few minutes of sleep; leaving me a little incoherent today. But a soon as I walked into the living room I was shook to life by the scene in front of me. Charlie was loading his shot guns into his black, carry all, police marked bag. There were boxes and boxes of ammunition and a little sliver case with syringe type bullets with colourful ends lying on the kitchen table. _Tranquilisers?_

"What's going on?" I asked my anxious looking dad, voice laden with sleep.

Charlie let out an extended sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose before turning to face me. His eyes blurred with unshed tears. "I need you to stay out the woods and in this house at all times," his voice heavy with concern as he pointed to the floor. He placed his hands on his hips and turned towards the back door. "A couple went missing last night; eye witness said he saw the couple standing next to their car near the woods. When he came back out the ice cream parlour they were gone. The car doors were open and there was a grey wolf…or bear at the edge of the forest" he paused for a minute taking in deep breaths like he was about to hurl. "Their baby girl was out into a foster home last night…I need you to stay out of the woods. Do you hear me?" his voice cracked towards the end of the sentence.

"Yes" I whispered. _All my fault _the little voice inside me screeched. I tried to cover my ears to keep me from hearing the voice. But the voice was inside me already. I tried shaking the voice out but that didn't conceal the fact that I had effectively taken someone's life again. _All my fault._

"We've set up a team to track it down. Don't call me on my cell, if you need me. Call the station they'll relay the message, okay? I'll be home at night." And with that he picked up his guns and left me standing alone and cold in the house. I was putting more people at risk every minute she was out there looking. I was putting my family and friends at risks even people I didn't know. What was the baby's fault? Why was she left alone in the world? _You! All my fault. _

It was all my fault. But I wouldn't take responsibility of not letting the pack know of Charlie's team. I needed to let them know, so no one else would get hurt.

Racing up the stairs I launched myself across my bed to my phone on the night stand. I violently forced the phone open like it had offended me and called Jake's mobile. But the phone rang out. I dialled again.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up. Damit Jacob, pick up the phone" I growled into the air.

"Bella?" Jake's gruff voice travelled through the phone.

"They know. Charlie knows about the pack, he hunting the pack" I rushed out in one bid breath.

"Whoa, whoa. Slow down. Charlie knows?" he asked confused.

"Yes Jake, he knows. And he's out in the wood with other people hunting you with guns and tranquilisers. Tranquilisers Jake! Fucking tranquilisers!" I shouted the last part.

"Calm down Bella. It'll be okay. I'll let the pack know, don't worry about it. We'll handle it." He soothed with his velvet voice, trying to trick me into believing him. But I wasn't about to fall for it. He had assured me last night that it was nothing to worry about. Guess he missed out the part where a baby was orphaned!

"But Ja-" he cut me off.

"We'll handle it" he outright growled at me and hung up the phone before I could offer to help. _Fine! I'll find my own way._

I stomach in knots and my heart heavy I stepped into the shower to wash away the feeling of suffocation and guilt. There was something I could do anything. Every problem had a solution so why couldn't I think of anything to help. And then I remembered.

I knew how I could help the pack. Make sure that Charlie was safe, Jake was safe and everyone that matter to anyone was safe. That's all I wanted was for everyone to be safe.

Getting ready for school was a mechanical process and as always I skipped breakfast. I grabbed my bag by the door and skipped to the truck painfully cautious of the forest surrounding my house. I knew I was fairly safe with the pack hunting Victoria but they couldn't be everywhere at once. But now they also had to keep an eye on the people out in the depth of the forest hunting the pack; the one thing that could save them for the supernatural force of vampires.

This meant that Victoria had a higher chance of getting to me, while the pack was distracted. I could end it now. Just walk out into the forest, wonder around for a little. She'd get to me eventually, so why delay the process? Why should Jake get hurt or anyone else for the matter, they did nothing wrong. Why was my life more valuable than theirs? The truth was that my life wasn't as precious.

The people that had gone missing were someone's son, brother or father someone's sister, aunt or mother. No one was reliant on me. Charlie would be upset but he lived the without me before. He could live without me again. And as for my mother I doubt she would care at all. She had Phil; she had someone there for her.

I pulled into the car park at school and it felt like all eyes were on me. _They probably were!_ Ever since the Cullens left, I had been the schools hot gossip topic. I thought the little sniggers and stares would die down after a while but I guess the Cullens were unforgettable. Ignoring the groups of girls whispering my name I trudged to my locker were Angela and Jessica rushed towards me.

"Morning" they both greeted rather sullenly.

"What's wrong" I enquired shoving books into my locker so my bag wasn't heavy with books I didn't need until later.

"Nothing" Jessica supplied rather a little rushed.

"Hmm" I groaned shutting my locker. They both looked at each other and then back to me, leaning against the lockers. I knew the looks they had just shared and without meaning to they had just spoken a thousand words.

"Lauren" I stated confidently. I had just about had enough of her. She'd taken an unhealthy interest in my life lately and it was getting on my last nerve. She was going out of her way to make my life harder than it already was. Believe me there was no fucking need and it was really starting to piss me off. Maybe I could channel my lost inhibitions and slap her like I had squared up to the pack alpha and slapped the most volatile wolf of the bunch. In my books that made me a badass and I sniggered maliciously at he looks on the girls' faces.

Shaking my head at their confused and slightly concerned expressions, I pushed past them to my first class just down the hall.

"Bella wait!" Angela called from behind me. "Don't take it to heart" she offered supportively when I turned round to look at them. I nodded my head mutely and made my way to English. I class the, unfortunately, shared with Lauren.

I walked in the classroom buzzing with excitement. Everyone was huddled in the middle of the room around a girl who animatedly explained something to them. The people I could see had mirth shinning in their eyes.

"Oh, hey Bella" Laurens voice announced laced with amusement. The whole class stopped listening with rapt attention to Rose and turned to me instead.

17 pairs of eyes flickered between me and Lauren expectantly. Though I wasn't quite sure what they were expecting to happen. So I zoned in on my desk and took a step towards it. But Lauren stepped in front of me, blocking my path.

"So, Bella. What have you been doing lately?" she started.

"Nothing that concerns you" I coated my voice with as much venom as I could conjure.

"Come on Bella. How did you do it?" she whispered through her sweetheart, pink, lips.

"Do what?" I asked genuinely confused and what she wanted to know.

I took a step back because she was now invading my private space. But she followed, "you know what" she placed a demanding hand on my shoulder. It was funny really; she was trying to dominate me. I looked down at her perfectly manicured, French tip, hand with disgust. Then back up at her make up caked face with the same contempt. I shook her hand of my body and tried to step around her but she was now flanked by her two minions; deadly smiles adorning each of their faces.

But when I didn't speak "You and the res hunk" Rose's sickly sweet voice projected throughout the classroom. _What? Now I'm really confused; _which probably reflected on my face.

"C'mon Bella, don't play dumb" Lauren turned towards Rose, smirking. "We saw you yesterday. How did you do it? How did you go from depressed to getting up close and personal with a native?" she spat stepping towards me suddenly. _Native? Jake!_ He was with me last night, dropped me home after the bonfire.

"What's the secret, eh? They never give a second glance at us" Rose leaned forward glaring me up and down. By us she meant place faces. Jake had explained to me before that most natives don't associate with pale faces, but I didn't know why. They were fine with me, but maybe that was because Charlie was friends with Billy and Harry? The only person who seemed to have a problem with me was Paul. "What did you do to get his attention?" she glowered at me crossing her skinny little arms across her huge boobs.

"_I_ didn't do anything" bitches could take a fucking hike.

"Right, you expect us to believe that? What's so special about you anyway? Frist the Cullens and now the natives" Lauren backed me up against the wall. "You must be doing something?" we were now toe to toe. She leant into me further and brought her mouth to my ear. "You must be a good fuck" she breathed.

"Not everyone is a whore like you Lauren. I have substance; I don't need to get on my knees to prove my worth." I laughed in her disgruntled face and pushed her back, away from me and stormed out the classroom before the lesson had even started.

Lately I felt worthless, I felt useless. I couldn't do anything, for anyone. I was the person who was responsible for all those death by the hands of Victoria. And all I could do was sit idle while he people I loved fought day and night to keep me safe, keep everyone safe. I had to help them and I need to do it now before anyone else lost their life. So I hoped into my truck as the late stragglers to school filed into the building. And I drove to La Push.

_Stay at home_

_We'll handle this_

_Don't worry_

_We'll get her _

_It's okay bells _

_Don't go into the woods _

Lies. It was all lies. I couldn't stay at home anymore, I had to do something. They weren't handling it, otherwise she would be caught already and they shouldn't have been seen either. I could help but worry, worry about the pack. Worry about Jake, worry about Charlie. It wasn't okay that everyone risked their lives for a problem I had brought upon them. It wasn't okay that other people were being punished for a decision I had made. I had to find a way to stop her, and she would only stop once she had me. I had to go into the woods to save the lives of the people I love.

Wiping the tears from my eyes I pulled into the trial just before the border and parked my truck behind some thick foliage. Once I was satisfied that it truck couldn't be seen from the highway I dug into the glove box and pulled out my red pocket knife. Charlie had given it to me because it had a little canister of pepper spray built in. said it would keep his mind ad rest if he knew I was carrying this for protection. Little did he know that I needed protection from something that was out of the human realm; and pepper spray wasn't a useful defence tool. But this little thing that I was now twirling between my fingers was going to be used as protection. Just not for me, but it would offer protection for everyone else. Forks would be safe, La Push would be safe and there will be no one orphan babies.

Taking in a deep breath I studied the forest around me. Everything was eerie quiet and I dint like it one bit. There were no birds no insects no squirrels. There was just a whole bunch of nothing. Which I suppose was great for me. The quiet signalled that she was somewhere close by. At least I hoped it was her and prayed it wasn't the pack doing; scaring all the animals into hiding.

There were several trails leading off to different directions, I didn't know where any of the led so I choose at random. I figured my best bet to some across her was off trial but I didn't want to be too close to civilisation that I ended up coming out the forest and not delving deeper into it. That was just counterproductive. So I decided to stick to the trail until I felt I was deep enough into the woods and then go off the route and deeper in to the green abyss. I was bound to come across her at one point or another. Hopefully I didn't bump into the pack or the trackers with guns and fucking tranquilisers.

I had been walking for a while and I knew it couldn't be past noon but still the light was poor under the canopy of the tress. And when I looked up to see how out the lights out I noticed the thick black clouds covering the sky. _Typical!_ It was about the fucking rain on me, but that wasn't any good. My scent would be washed away and there would be no way of tracking me. I remember that Jake had said that they couldn't petrol in stormy weather because the wind and the rain distributed and diluted Victoria's scent; so why wouldn't it be the same for me, right?

What I need was a concentration of my scent and this is where my pocket knife came in handy. I looked around the forest and found a log to rest on for a little while; my legs were turning to jelly and I had rolled my ankle a few times on the uneven forest floor.

I pulled the knife out my pocket and placed it in the ground in front of me. I fought to remember why I was doing this. I fought to psyche myself up to what I had thought of doing. And I _was _doing this. I was doing this for everyone that loved someone they lost because of me. I was doing this so no one else would get hurt.

I rolled up my sleeves; I picked up the cold metal and placed it against my head, willing myself not to be weak. _I could do this, it could all be over._ And that was all the encouragement I needed to give myself. It would all be over.

It was all still quiet, so I still had hope that she would find me. All I could here were the sounds of my breathing and the howl of the wind through the trees. I brought my hands out in front of me and decided the best way to do this.

If I go straight up it would probably be fast. But the thing is I needed slow and steady not fast and furious. So my best bet was across. It would give me enough time and she could definitely find me in that time frame. But I guess it all had to do with her location and the direction of the wind. All I wanted was for her to find me and this to be over. So without delay I placed the knife to my pale wrist and sliced. _Don't faint. Don't faint. Don't faint. _I chanted and switched the knife to my left hand and cut across my opposite wrist. I watched as red liquid trickled out of the cuts and on to the dirt near my feet. The blood flow from both wrists was decent. But it could be better, so I flexed both my wrist until the cuts were wider. I whimpered as the pain skyrocketed and I suppressed the scream that was dying to be let out. But I had to be strong and carry on. It had to end and it had to end today. Either Victoria found me and killed me herself or I would bleed to death waiting for her.

I sat for a few minutes listening for any sounds of movement, but nothing. However the next sound I heard was fucking unexpected. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I thought I had left the fucker in my truck. _How the hell do I have a signal strong enough to receive calls?_ Maybe I wasn't far enough in the forest yet? But how was the possible, I had been walking for years.

But by the time I had pulled out my phone, the call had rung out and probably went to voicemail. I wasn't about to answer the bloody thing but I was curious to see who was calling me in the middle of the day. Everyone believed I was at school, so who could it be? I was shocked to see Jake's name flash on the screen. _What did he want? Was someone hurt? Was it Charlie?_ Stupid little man-child had left me a voicemail message, convenient because I wouldn't need to call him back. _Amateur. _

"Bella, just to update you, everyone is fine. Call me when you get this" _oh thank god. _Nothing had happened yet. Which was good but it could all go tits up at any point. I had to move, keep moving so my scent was spread out wide; meaning she had a better chance of finding me. I was getting a little light headed which meant she was running out of time.

So I got up from my perch on the broken tree and made my way deeper into the woods. Or that was where I thought I was going. But I was surprised to smell the air around me take on a salty taste. _The sea_. The fragrance got stronger and stronger. The sound of the waves crashing against rocks got louder and louder until I found myself on the cliffs by the sea. I had fucking navigated myself to the cliffs. _Nice one Bella._ Walk straight into a dead end, why not?

I sauntered over to the edge to see the waves crashing against the rocky cliff face. It was kind of beautiful. The sky was an angry grey, the waves down below rolled violently towards the shore; both equally aggressive in tone. The drop into the ocean was positively fatal for anyone attempting to dive today. Looking out towards first beach, I couldn't see a soul. Not even any surfers? Nobody, except me to admire the hostility of the weather and it was peaceful.

Until I heard her

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" her voice made the hairs on the back on my neck stand to attention. _This is it_.

Turing around, I scanned the small clearing for her form, but it wasn't there.

"Up here" she chimed.

And she was; up in the fucking tree, like she was afraid of something. And then I heard it, just as I was about to ask her why she was so far away. Well felt it first, to be exact. The ground shook the the distinctive thump of paws hitting the dirt. And it was. _Who was it? Jake? Sam? Embry?_ I didn't really want to know I just wanted it to be over. So I extended my hands out in front of me and pulled up the sleeves of my bloodied jacket.

"It ends today! Either you kill me or he kills you. Your pick" I called to her, even flexed my wrist as extra incentive and she bit down on the bait.

Her curly red hair bounced as she straightened herself from the crouch she had landed in, on the forest floor. The rags of her clothes flailed helplessly in the wind. "I wanted you to die slowly, but I guess this'll have to do" she shrugged her bony shoulders and sprinted towards me just as a grey wolf appeared from the thicket; snarling and growling viciously. I didn't know enough about the packs wolf forms to tell who it was. But I knew just enough to know that it was either Paul or Embry. Guess it didn't really matter now that it was as good as over.

I was hurtling towards the cold black ocean the next second while a pained howl rung out through La Push. The sudden drop had pushed me over the edge, literally, and I was fighting to stay wake. However the darkness didn't take over like I had expected and I felt the distinct burn of salt in my wrists as I hit the water. I was waiting for the ice cold hands of Victoria to finish me off; waited for it to all be over. I looked out across the ocean, under water, and saw the fiery hair of the last thing I would see alive. But before she could get to me the dark spots that littered my vision merged together. And that was it. It was all over.

**Nearly at 100 reviews!**

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	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

**This is the chapter I had written to be posted for my 100rd review! Hope you enjoy. **

**Apparently I was torn faced **(Scottish expression)** for half a week after writing this chapter!**

**Warning: You might find this chapter a little disturbing towards the end.**

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**(PPOV)**

'What the fuck is going on? Whatever it is, it better be fucking worth getting me out of bed' I had just come in from patrolling 20 minutes ago. The leech had me chase her all the way to the Canadian border again, but this time I was alone. Embry had stayed back just in case she did a double take and back tracked towards La Push. It was irritating me that she would always be one step ahead of us.

'Bella called. Charlie's out in the woods tracking the pack.' The baby alpha roared.

'What!?' there were several growls and snarls projected through the pack mind.

'Embry! Paul! What the hell happened last night?' Sam ordered us to explain.

'I don't know. I was chasing the fucker to Canada. Ask him?" I turned my muzzle towards the smaller grey wolf, behind me.

'I sounded the alarm and patrolled La Push like you ordered me too' he whimpered, bowing his head to the ground.

'Then how the fuck do they know we exist' Sam roared.

'Maybe Bella told him' Jared's wolf shrugged nonchalantly

'Watch it!' I growled at the chocolate wolf baring my sharp teeth. 'You might be my best friend but that won't stop me from ending your life if you accuse my imprint of betraying the pack.' I snarled at him.

'Oh! Now she's your imprint? What happened to not wanting her?' he boomed with an equally vicious snarl of his own.

'Enough! This is not the time for spats. Get you shit together and focus!' Sam rose to his full height. 'I refuse to lose anyone else to this bitch! She goes down today.' He growled.

'Jared and Embry stay with the trackers. Jake and Paul run perimeter, a ten mile diameter through the trackers. Don't hesitate!' Sam placed the orders 'if she gets anyway near the humans I want her dead. Don't sound the alarm under any circumstance' he growled at the pack.

We spread out, I took the outer position ran in sync with the rest of the determined wolves. We had to end this soon because it was getting out of hand. We kept are noses in the air, hoping to come across the scent of the trackers. And it didn't take long to locate them.

They had set up base near the outskirts of the forest were the leech had attacked the couple last night. Jared and Embry stayed back with Sam, while Jake and I spread out to opposite ends of the perimeter. Making sure not to cross paths with each other and paying attention to any new scent trails. But there was none, all I could smell was the old stench of the red head and the pack.

The whole pack as focused on the task at hand while Jake was busy relaying the conversation he had had with Bella this morning. I felt sadness over come me each time he got to the end of the phone call; when he had raised his voice at her blatant lack of confidence in the pack. We understood her anxiety but it was pretty demoralising when she constantly reminded us that we still hadn't caught the bitch. And frankly the pack was getting sick of it; we didn't need her help to recap and reflect on our failure as protectors.

'Green, brown, brown, brown, green, green and oh look brown' Jake clearly needed a break from patrolling without any outcomes, he was getting bored.

'Jacob black! Focus. You're distracting everyone else!' Sam roared through the pack mind and we all keeled under the alpha undertone. 'Phase out and clear your god damn mind pup. Call Bella, apologise or something. But spare us, it hard enough trying to concentrate without you incessantly disrupting the rest of us' Sam commanded '10 minutes! Paul, stay alert.' And with that Jake phased with a shimmer.

It was peaceful for a few minutes and Jake phased back in. Apparently, he called Bella but he couldn't get through to her. Putting it down to being in school, he pushed his emotions towards the back of his mind. And for once he had his whole head in the game. _Finally. _

'Jake you got something?' I asked because all of a sudden I felt overwhelmed with fear and confusion.

'She must have slipped through when I was on the phone' he panicked voice rung out through the pack link; and we all snarled at his carelessness.

'Where is she headed?' Sam ordered, our hackles raised in anticipation of more information.

'I don't know, give me a minute' Jake put his nose to the ground and sniffed. _Nothing. _Raising his muzzle he scented out the leech in the air. 'North.' Great she was headed straight for the trackers.

'You better fucking catch up to her before she gets within a mile of the men Jake.' He was in deep shit, if he couldn't get to her before she reached the trackers. 'Paul, bring up the rear and I'll meet you in the middle,' he ordered.

And so the chase was on.

Jake was gaining on her; we could all see the distinctive red colour of her hair. Sam was headed straight for her while I tried to catch up to Jake. I was still a little ways away when the red head suddenly stopped in her tracks. Jake barrelled towards her, jaws open to snap around her stone head. But she changed direction just as Jake launched himself in the air. Up ahead of Jake was Sam, the midnight wolf hurtled towards the vampire as Jake got his footing and before long they were both hot on her heels. I could now see both of the wolves in the distance battling to catch up to the red head but she kept up her pace.

'Why is she going this way?!' Jake roared as he lunged at her again but to no avail.

'Fuck knows, but at least she's not headed towards the trackers anymore' Sam growled. The leech had cut through an area with big ass.

'Keep on her!' I instructed them.

'Shut up' they both growled out in frustration. Jake and Sam were both headed straight for a wide conifer. Splitting at the last moment, the both connected with each other on the other side of the fucking tree.

'For fuck sake!' I growled at them as I shot by, leaving them lying on the forest floor tangled in each other's form. I zoned in on her legs and propelled myself forward.

'No, no, no!' Jake cried in my mind. 'No, no, no'

'What the fuck is wrong' I snarled at him, he had to be more specific than that.

'Bella' and now I was just outright confused, making me slow my pace. I couldn't think about my imprint and kill a vampire at the same time. My wolf needed things to be prioritised and Bella was always at the top of the list.

'What the fuck do you mean Bella?' I growled at him, trying my best not to lose the ground I had covered to get to the red head.

'Blood…the scent of her blood. She's after Bella! Take her out Paul, now!' Sam ordered, but that was easier said than done. _**End her!**_ My wolf snarled at me.

Channelling my wolf I willed myself to go fast but she still had a steady lead. We were still headed east when all of a sudden the bitch leaping into a nearby tree. _**No**_

I skidded to a halt next to the tree she had disappeared into, but she wasn't there anymore. I circled the tree and lifted my head into the air and tried scented her out. But I got nothing; I was never good at tracking especially in stormy weather, like today. I tried again but I still came up with nothing. So I waited precious seconds for the two other wolves to show up. Sam could scent her out no problem.

'Faster!' I growled at both of them to hurry.

Sam slipped to a stop next to me and lifted his muzzle and sniffed. 'West, she's headed west towards the cliffs.' He panted out, trying to catch his breath. I didn't wait for them to start running together. I had already wasted so much time waiting for them to catch up to me; I wasn't about to waste anymore. Not when it concerned my imprint. The air around me was beginning to become saturated with salt, indicating I was getting nearer to the cliffs. I fucking hoped the red head was there, because I hadn't come across her scent on the ground. I just hoped I was speeding in the right direction.

'She hasn't changed route, she'll be there' Sam reassured me, but was that really what I wanted to hear. If she was on route to the cliffs did that mean Bella was on those cliffs? And I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to know the answer let alone know why we could smell her blood.

I finally caught the stench of leech lingering in the air as I hurtled towards the cliffs, praying Bella was okay. But then I heard them.

"It ends today! Either you kill me or he kills you. Your pick" Bella's voice invited Victoria to take her life. _**No!**_ My wolf growled at the suggestion, causing me to release a vicious growl of my own.

Breaking through the foliage I saw Victoria sprint towards my imprint just as I was about to take a chunk of her shoulder off. I helplessly watched on as the red head pulled Bella off the cliff by her cut wrist. _She had cut her wrists!_ An agonising howl ripped through my wolf and radiated outwards.

'No, no, no. Bella!' Jake screamed in my head. I couldn't jump after her as a wolf so I forced myself to fight my anger and fear and phase back into a human.

I pushed up onto my feet and jumped off the cliff where Bella had landed in the water. White bubbles marked where the leech had entered the water, but thankfully there were quite a bit away; maybe just giving me enough time to get to Bella. I connected with the ice cold water what a violent splash. And as soon I was under water I tried to find my imprint but I could see her anywhere. Sam and Jake both jumped in moments later and tried just as hard to find her. The murky water was no match for me as my sharp eye sight caught onto a figure floating directly underneath me. I kicked my legs and propelled myself towards my imprint without a second glance for the leech or the other wolves in the choppy sea.

As soon as I could grab a hold of her, I pulled her weightless body to my warm one. I kicked my legs as hard and fast as I could to get us to the surface. Breaking through the water I gasped for air, something I noticed Bella wasn't doing. Fearing the worst I swam towards the shore, taking care not let Bella's face sink into the water. As soon as I was able to stand, I cradled her limp body to my chest and ran for dry land. Her body was an unhealthy temperature and I wasn't fully convinced that her heart was beating. But she was shivering so I had good reason to believe that she was still alive, even if only barely.

I put her down on the sand and listen for breathing, it wasn't there. I felt for a pulse, it wasn't there and she had even stopped shivering. _No, no, no_

"You can't die on me" my voice coarse with emotion, I breathed into her cold body, and watched as her chest rose and fell with the air. Placing my hands in the middle of her chest I pushed down; light enough to not break her but just enough to force her heart to beat. But as I pushed down on her chest the cuts on her wrists would bleed out every time. I had no other option but to stop, I couldn't have her lose any more blood. I sat back on my hunches and stared down at my still imprint. Her face was relaxed, her eyelids closed over her chocolate eyes; eyes that I might not see again. I ran my hands over her cold little body squeezing my fingers into her cold flesh now and again. I leant down and nuzzled into her neck and took in deep calming breaths. I kept kissing her flesh where her pulse should have been and willed it to come back, but of course it wasn't.

I felt Jake and Sam collapse down next to her body. Jake sobbed uncontrollably and Sam rested his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it in a comforting gesture. I didn't need his sympathy; I needed him to save my imprint. I shrugged his hand of and placed it directly over her cut wrist and ordered him to keep the pressure on her wrists.

"I need you to call an ambulance" I directed at Jacobs shaking form. He reached into the pocket of his cut off and pulled out his phone. I tired compressions again and this time she wasn't bleeding as much.

"Fuck" Jake growled out.

"You just jumped into the Pacific ocean Jake! Of course you fucking phone doesn't work!" Sam shouted at the pup. "Mrs Right lives on the line trial, two minutes away!" Sam growled at him. I breathed into her again.

"Please Jake, she needs help" I begged him not able to take my eyes of her motionless body. "I can't lose her" I choked out. He knew exactly what I was feeling because he loved her just as much as me. Jake hurtled down the line trail to call an ambulance, which left Sam and I with Bella.

"She's going to be fine" he whispered out.

"She's not breathing and her hearts not beating; you're seriously telling me she'll be fine" I ground out just before I stopped to breathe some life into her body. "I didn't volunteer to test out the imprint dies, imprinter dies theory Sam!" I shouted pushing down on her chest.

"You can't die. Please come back to me," I cried, my shoulders shaking. "I'll do better, I'll be better. Just…just please come back."

"I'll take over" Sam offered but I shook my head at him. "I'll do it" he said more firmly. "The ambulance will be here soon and you don't have any clothes on Paul. Come on, let me take over for a little bit" I hadn't agreed but as soon as her chest deflated Sam had let go of her wrists and started pushing down on her chest; giving me no option but to let him take over.

I hauled on my wet cut offs that were tied to my ankle and kneeled beside her head. Pulling her arms above her head I squeezed her cuts closed. Her hair was wet and stuck to her forehead, so I nudge it out the way with my nose and buried my head in her soaked tresses. I turned my face into her head and breathed in her scent, tainted with the sickly stench of leech and the sea. I thought past the other smells and focused on her citrus, orange, fragrance. I cherished each breath I was taking and hoped it wasn't the last time I would smell her.

"I'm sorry, so sorry I was such a dick. But baby I'll change, I _was_ changing. I need you to fight, Bella. I need you alive" I choked into her hair as I heard sirens in the distance approaching fast. "Just a little bit longer" I reassured her as Jake fell to his knees beside me.

The ambulance stopped a few yards away for us, lights flashing. The doors to the van were pushed open and two men stepped out from the back. "We'll take it from here" the brown haired man took over from Sam but I refused to let her go.

"Paul" Sam pried my hands off Bella and pulled me back to allow room for the paramedics to get to her. Jake had gotten up and was now pacing a well into the wet sand as he hovered over the EMT's. "Jake, relax. She'll be fine" Sam spouted the same shit as earlier, but this time she was in capable hands and not a pair of inexperienced wolves; so I chose to believe him.

"Unconscious, not breathing, no pulse." The blonde haired guy spoke this time and pulled out a pair a scissors as the other man bandaged Bella's wrist. The blonde guy pulled the hem of her shirt and cut through the fabric right to the neck; exposing the creamy skin of her entire torso. We all gasped at the sight of her hip bones jutting out and at the fact that we could see the spaces in-between her ribs, were her skin was stretched taught and sunken in. The blonde guy had started compression on her bruised chest.

"How long has she been like this?" the brown haired man asked us.

"15 minutes, maybe" Sam replied when I didn't answer.

"And how did she end up like this?"

"We don't know," Jake shuddered out knowing fine well how she _ended_ up like this.

"Okay, ready Jeff." The blonde guy nodded to Jeff. He opened up a pack with a machine and a couple of pads; and stuck them to her body.

"Charging…clear" Jeff stated. And the next thing I see is Bella's torso lift off the sand from the shock. "No pulse. Charging…clear" and it happened again. But this is time I heard her heart jolt to life; it was faint but it was there. And then it was gone again.

"Alan! Adrenaline." He shouted to the man rummaging in the back of the truck. He rushed out toward us holding onto a red box. Alan crouched down next to her and opened out the box filled with syringes. Putting on gloves, he motioned for the blonde guy to lift his hands off Bella's chest. Counting down five ribs, he steadied the needle between her ribs and pushed the needle through; he depressed the plunger and withdrew the needle. Bella's eye flew open as she gasped for air and sputtered out water. This time her heart beat was stronger and she was breathing on her own. _She was going to be fine_. I sobbed with relief as her eyes darted around and settled on Jake, who had now stopped pacing and was staring down at her with the relief.

She was transferred onto a bed and put into the back of the ambulance as I watched them take her away. The weight of what could have happened crashed down on my shoulders, knocking me to my knees. I sobbed into my hands as Sam, my friend, wrapped me in an embrace. I cried until I had no more tears left to shed, until I wasn't shaking anymore.

"Where is she?" I growled out and pushed Sam away, furiously wiping away the tears.

"Over there" he pointed behind me. I turned around to see that she was being held down by Jared and Embry, just shy of the tree line. I sprinted towards the leech, my chest puffing with the violence of my breathing, trying to remain as calm as possible. I nodded to both of them and they got what I was communicating. Simultaneously they ripped off both of her arms and threw them in a pile further into the woods. The fucker screeched as I stepped over her and put my foot in the middle of her chest.

"I'd show you the meaning of a slow death. But you threatened my mate…" the shaking had become unbearable and I phased right on top of her. I lowered my sharp teeth to her neck and bit down hard. Her wails could probably be heard for miles but I couldn't care less. I jerked my head and it was all over. I phased back to do the honours.

"Fucking finally" Jared exclaimed exacerbated.

I lit the pieces of the leech on fire and took off running towards the hospital. I needed to see her. I need to touch her. I just needed her.

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**Please review! Wish me luck I'm starting clinical on Wednesday on a general surgery ward.**

**I would say I won't update for a while but we all know I can't resist writing chapters and uploading them immediately.**

**BSBH!**


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight**

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**(PPOV)**

'Planning on walking around in the nude?' Jared teased; I had been on edge ever since Bella was in the hospital, everything pissed me off and phasing came extra easy. That fact the Jacob had been missing for three days now, didn't help the situation much. No one had seen him since he climbed into the ambulance with Bella. I had trusted him with my imprint and when I got to the fucking hospital, he wasn't with her; and he hadn't phased in either.

'Shut up' I growled at my best friend, snagging some clothes from near Jake's house as I ran past. 'The fuck you want?' pushing my legs as fast as I could to get to Forks.

'Trying to start a conversation with my best friend? I'm on babysitting duty' he huffed out, dumping himself on the forest floor near Quil's house. We could hear him shuffling about in his living room, watching the game. 'You think he's gonna phase anytime soon?' Jared asked me.

'If you're sick of following him about, force him to phase' I grumbled out as I approached the hospital. 'It's gonna happen anyway, just pick a fight. Push him around a little, mention Jake and Embry. But for Christ sake run it by Sam first' I growled at him and phased out. I walked out into the hospital car park; I got a few odd looks for people around about me. It was visiting time and the car park was full of people with flowers and cards and chocolates. The shit made me shudder with annoyance, what good were flowers or balloons to a dying person. Harry's room was filled to the brim with daffodils and lilies. The man just had a heart attack in the middle of the woods what the fuck use did he have for flowers?

I popped into Harry's room just to see how he was doing and to ask if Sue needed anything. He was on the tribe's council so I was paying him a visit on behalf of the pack before I went to sit with Bella. Harry was still in a bad condition and he was getting poorer and poorer every day and there was nothing anyone could do for him. The doctors had told us that it had taken them far too long to get him to the hospital, which was true. There was no way anybody could have got him to hospital any faster with him being in the forest and all. The pack was running after the leech when he had taken ill so no one was around to help the tackers when Harry had his heart attack. Nobody had seen Seth or Leah for days and it was starting to worry Sam and Emily. Em had said that people needed family at a time like this but the Clearwater kids wouldn't even come out of their house to see their father; let alone anybody else.

I walked past the nursing station on Bella's ward and didn't miss the hungry eyes of the young nurses on my body as I strolled by them to get to Bella's room. I would talk to them about Bella when they came round to check on me but other than that I didn't even acknowledge their presence. The first time the pack had visited her they were surprised, to say the least, when they noticed I wouldn't look at the nurses when they came over to hit on the guys. Sam had rewarded me with a slapped on my back, with a huge shit eating grin plastered to his face. I wasn't interested in other women anymore; the only one I had eyes for was the broken girl lying on the hospital bed in front of me.

I leant against the door for a few minutes just taking her in. Her hair was tied into a practical braid on the side of head. She had huge black bags under her eyes; she hadn't been sleeping according to the nurse I had spoken to yesterday; guess she hadn't slept well last night either. I followed the line of her sight to a little black spot painted on the white hospital wall opposite her window. The fluorescent lights above her bed didn't do anything to conceal the paler than normal colour of her alabaster skin. She had her sheet pulled up and tucked under her arms, which were crossed tightly over her chest. I pushed off the door and walked over to the foot of her bed. I trailed my hand from her bandaged foot to her calf and then over her thighs and settled it on her lower back as I moved closer to her head. She hadn't flinched away from me like she had done the every first time I had touched her. And as per usual, I rubbed her back soothingly and sat down on top of her bed. She didn't greet me back when I had said hi and she didn't snatch her hand back when I pried it from its hold on her opposite arm and settled it in mine. I rubbed circles on her knuckles as I talked to her about patrol and the pack, but she would let me hear her sweet voice. No one could get her to talk; not Charlie, not me and she wouldn't even speak to any of the hospital staff. No one had heard her speak since Monday. I looked around the room and saw that someone had left a small bag in the corner of her room. When I went over to inspect the foreign object I found that it had Bella's clothes in it. _Guess Charlie had already visited today. _He normally came by to see her during the later visiting hour after his shift down at the station, I figure he was on night shift and had come in this morning. The soft knock on the door alerted me to another presence in the room and when I turned to see who it was I wasn't surprised to see a young nurse batting her lashes at me.

"Hey, is there anything you needed?" she asked with a smile.

"Has Bella had anything to eat yet? I was told she hadn't eaten since she got here" I walked over to the door so I wasn't disturbing my imprint.

"She had a slice of toast this morning but nothing other than that. She hasn't slept much either and she still isn't talking." I nodded my head at the girl with a frown on my face.

"Do you know when I can take her home?" I asked hoping she would say soon but somewhere deep inside my heart I knew that it wasn't possible.

"Unfortunately, we can't discharge her home. Not until she has a psychiatric evaluation, which we can't do until she starts speaking. The doctors have decided to move her to another ward if she doesn't open up by tomorrow." She spoke with a soothing voice.

"Where will she be moved to?"

"To the psychiatric ward, upstairs" she said nonchalantly. I was about to argue that Bella wasn't mad, but why would this person believe me. I couldn't tell her why Bella was acting this way or why she hadn't spoken for three days. How was Bella supposed to be evaluated when she couldn't tell anyone the truth? She couldn't sit down and talk to just anybody about her problem; about vampires and werewolves and if she did they would lock her up forever. And I could have that!

"Can I shower her?" I asked expectantly

"Erm…sure, if she'll let you" the nurse said looking towards Bella's limp figure lying between the sheets on her bed "there are towels in the cupboard under the sink" and with that she turned on her heels and closed the door behind her.

I walked over to the side of Bella's bed and kneeled down in front of her, so I was blocking her chocolate eyes from seeing the black spot on the wall and forcing her to look at me instead.

Titling my head to the side and I stroked the hair on her head and murmured "Bella, do you want to have a shower?" but she didn't say anything, all she did was blink at me and furrow her brows a little. "It'll make you feel better, I promise" and this time she turned in her bed so her back was to me. _Huh_

"Bella either you get up now or I'll drag you out of this bed and shower you myself" I said more firmly this time, jumping to my feet. But she didn't move. "That's it!" I growled out and ripped the sheet from her body; the back of her gown was open giving me a nice view of her smooth back. I forced my arms under her form and lifter her to my chest, in one swift movement. But she was lower down that I had excepted her to be, I pulled her up further so her head was resting on my shoulder and marched us to the bathroom attached to the room. I kicked the door closed behind us and toed off my sneakers and pushed them over to the far side of the room. Climbing into the tub I untied the bottom of the gown and placed her down with her back against the side of the tub. I got out the bath and took the shower head with me, turning it away from Bella's shivering body I turned it on and adjusted the temperature to how hot I thought she could tolerate it. Putting the shower back in its holder I knelt down behind her and undressed her making sure I didn't see anything I shouldn't see. I threw the gown over my shoulder and stood to turn the head of the shower towards Bella and I watched the water hitting her skin until she stopped shivering. Walking out to her room I grabbed the bag Charlie had left her and was relieved to see that he had the decency to pack her a little toiletry bag with shampoo, soap and girlie shit. I grabbed her shirt and some jeans and placed them on the bed so she could change into them when she was clean. I didn't like seeing her in a hospital gown let alone have her smelling like one too. Walking back into the bathroom armed with shampoo and soap I knelt behind her and placed my hands under the stream of the shower. I unravelled her braid and lathered her hair with her shampoo as gently as my massive hands would let me. I crooned to her the whole way through the shower, murmuring soothing words as I skimmed my soapy hands over her tight little body, leaving out her most intimate parts. I took a hold of both of her hands clasped around her knees that were pulled to her chest, and turned them over so they were wrist side up. She had five sutures lining the red edges of the cuts up so they could heal properly. I made sure not to get any soap into the slashes and placed them back on her knees.

Turning off the water, I stepped back into the tub and wrapped her in a towel and brought her to her feet; I tucked the towel under her arms. But it only fell to the middle of her thighs, that wouldn't protect her modesty when I carried her back to the room. Grabbing another towel I wrapped it around her middle and secured it tight at her hip. It was only when I looked to her face for the first time since she turned her back on me that I found she had been crying. She eyes were blood shot and she scrunched her nose up now and again as she sniffled. I cradled her face in my hands and wiped the tears rolling down her face furiously, frowning at her.

"Hey, what's wrong Bella?" I asked frantically skimming my hand over her body making sure I hadn't hurt her. "Please tell me what's wrong. I can't fix it until you tell he what's wrong, baby" I said kissing her wrists, thinking they were hurting her. But she still wasn't speaking, in fact she sobbed harder at my attempt at comforting her. "I'm sorry I shouted at you. I didn't mean it, I promise. Please tell me what's wrong?" Giving up trying to get her to speak I swiped my arm under her knees and pulled her to my chest again. But this time she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pushed her face into the crook of my neck. I pulled the bathroom door open and walked into the bedroom to dry her off.

"I need…" she croaked out half a sentence as her lips brushed against my neck, stopping me dead in my tracks.

"What do you need baby?" I asked lowering my head and kissing her shoulder.

"I need him" she let out a heart clenching sob which had me crumbling inside. My heart ached and my chest constricted from the gut wrenching sounds coming from her shaking form. I sat down in one of the chairs beneath the window with her lying across my lap because I didn't trust myself on my feet. Her head was still buried in my neck and I could feel the hot tears running down her cheek and onto my neck.

"Who do you need?" I asked, although I knew who she was talking about, I couldn't help but want to hear her voice again. I rocked her back and forth as I waited for her to say his name and I would sit here until she said it. I pulled her away from me and adjusted her in my lap. Pulling the towel around her hip loose, I shifter her so she was straddling me and I could see her eyes again. Seeing her wet hear stick to her forehead as she cried took me straight back to the day I nearly lost her. "Who do you want?" I pushed a little harder for an answer this time; if she wasn't going to talk they would take her away from me. The thought made my stomach clench with sickness making me hold her tighter against my body. I ran my hands up and down her back just to placate myself that she was still here, with me, where she belongs.

I lowered my head till my forehead was resting on hers. Her eyes were closed as she sobbed out the answer "Jake." _That's my girl_

"I'll bring him to you" I sighed with relief. "But you have to promise that you'll eat something other than a slice of toast." I murmured against her nodding head. I found my hand resting on the skin of the inside of her creamy thigh that wasn't covered by the towel "I'll bring him by later" I told her as I stood us up, deposited her on her feet. And once I was certain she wouldn't fall when I let her waist go, I left to go find her MIA best friend.

"She's showered, she's talking and she'll eat" I called to the nurses sitting at their desks while sprinting past. But as soon as I stepped outside the hospital I was shunted back to reality. Jake was missing, meaning we couldn't find him. So how the fuck was I going to bring him to Bella when nobody could find him.

* * *

**Please review!**

**There's a character that I plan to introduce later on in this story but I don't know what to call him – so I'm leaving it up to my readers!**

**This character is:**

**Cheeky. **

**Always getting into trouble.**

**Proud **

**Selfish **

**An all-round brat**

**I think my problem with naming him is that I don't want him to exist but he does and I think my subconscious mind is telling me not to create him. But he's essential for what I have envisioned for this story. **

**I'll either, tally the names and pick the most popular or put them in a hat and draw one – by suggesting a name I am presuming that you agree to let me use the name in this story and not sue me for stealing your idea.**

**For any one that cares, I passed my applied science exam and got an A! (I mentioned this exam in the chapter 10 A/N)**

**BSBH!**


	15. AN

First of all I would like to apologise to all those who were hoping this was a chapter update and as you can see unfortunately it is not. And I think I owe it to those who follow and have favourited this fanfic to offer a reason as to why I have failed to update.

I had finished placement at the end of June which marked the successful completion of my 2nd year at university. It had taken me the best part of July to get back into writing mode and I am now half way through chapter 14. However I am unable to write anymore of this fanfic for personal reasons.

These reasons are consuming every waking moment of my life and have a serious impact on my future. And I cannot disclose more information for legal reasons. I have not got the time or energy to carry on with this fanfic at the moment and if things stay as they are now, I will not have time for a very long time.

If you want me to post the incomplete chapter let me know. If anyone wants to adopt this fanfic it is up for grabs. if this fsnficiton has not been adopted then If anyone wants to know the whole plot then just PM me and I will tell you because it looks like to me that I will never get round to finishing this fanfic at this rate. however i am still debating this because i just feel absolutely crap at this very moment. When I had confidently stated that I would finish this fanfic I had never contemplated that I would find myself in such a horrible situation, ever. And I would like to also apologise if I never get round to finishing this fanfiction.

BSBH,

Paulover23


	16. Adoption

Hello everyone!

I am pleased to say that this fanfiction was promptly adopted by the wonderful allie23o.

Please show her the same love and support you have shown to me and I hope you like rest of this story.

P.S. no one other than allie23o knows how this story goes. I apologise if you were looking forward to knowing the plot – you'll just have to wait for the rest of the story to be posted. But I can tell you that's it's gonna be awesome.

P.P.S if you haven't read untold secrets by allie23o you're missing out


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